Subject: Grail: "The Great Brightness" - 'About Last Night...'

Joint post by

Epic Terrakian and

Mirka Tzavaras

<<Stardate: 47307.30- 19:30>>

<<10 Forward>>

It had been a hell of a day. Epic Terrakian had considered going

directly to his quarters and getting a good nights rest. The probe

launched by Janice Hargen had provided a gross wealth of information and

it would be hours before Sciences could make any useful sense out of it.

But one thing was certain in Epics mind. At 09:00 tomorrow, the

Grail was entering the Great Brightness.

Entering the Lounge, Epic sensed the level of tension rise. Too

many rumors had already circulated about the details of this mornings

meeting. He had even heard that he had attacked Kait Brennan, causing

her to be transported directly to Sickbay. He shrugged. If he couldn't

get respect out of this crew, fear would have to do.

But he needed a drink. And he didn't care if he brought every

conversation to a halt or started a fresh batch of rumors. He was going

to have a drink.

He stood in the door, scanning the room. There were a few with whom

he might have sat, but his eye was caught by the Counselor, Mirka

Tzavaras. As he looked at her, she looked up at him. In both their eyes,

there was a blank and calculated recognition. A conversation between

them was inevitable. Especially after Epics `use' of her last night at

ShuttleBay 2.

Without taking his eyes from hers, he walked toward her table. Her

eyes were happy eyes though there was no humor in them now. And her

mouth had a perpetual small smile though Epic thought that it was just a

trademark of her beauty and not a conscious effort.

She seemed more attractive to him today. It wasn't that she wore

anything different. Neither her hair nor her uniform nor her cosmetics

were altered from the last time he'd seen her. It was a by-product of

`the Gift', as Epic had always called his vampiric powers. What he took

from her last night was so much more intimate than what she might have

given as a lover or a friend. He knew what her soul tasted like now. And

she was beautiful.

"Good Evening.", he said to her as he stood beside the chair that

Oku Ramin had sat in. And the seat that William Ramius had sat in before

that. The Counselor was open for business. `5 cents, please.', Magda

giggled in his mind. Epic didn't understand the reference, so he ignored

it. "May I join you?"

"Please.", Mirka nodded. She wasn't suprised he made the first

move to approach her. It showed once again his desire to be in control.

What suprised her was the adrenaline rush she suddently felt.

Epic sat. He steepled his hands before him, elbows on the table.

Touching his fingertips to his lips, he considered his first words. "I

raped you last night. Would you like to file formal charges?"

There was only the suggestion of lightness in his tone. In his

eyes, she saw the deadly seriousness of what he said. And she saw some

regret there also, but that might always be in the eyes of Epic

Terrakian.

Mirka looked at him for a moment and she laughed, a gentle laughter.

But in her mind an alarm rang. This man was dangerous. She locked her

eyes with his again. They were suddenly as serious as his. *Don't let

him throw you off balance* she told herself.

"Very good captain, you managed to suprise me yet again." She stared

at him thoughtfully, did he realize that what he did last night was

something nobody had been able to do in sixteen years? Her emotions

were the only thing she never shared with anyone. This man, in a few

seconds, had manage to make her completely vulnerable.

Last night she had wanted to run as far from him as possible, which

she did, in a way. This morning, however, she wanted to confront him.

After the meeting she had felt like forgetting the whole thing,but she

didn't quite manage that. But now, she had to face him. The counselor

wanted to talk to the captain, but she wasn't sure Mirka was ready to

face the empath, or was it the real Epic Terrakian?... That was the

real question: Who was Epic Terrakian?... This was getting dangerous

indeed.

Finally, she talked in a slow and calm voice.

"I wish I could forbid you to ever do that again... But it would be

useless. I would like to tell you that it didn't mater, but you know

that wouldn't be true. I could get even... and maybe I will, but not

now, not when you're waiting for it. I could tell you how vulnerable

you made me feel last night, but that's what you're expecting isn't it?

But I won't do that, I won't open up more of myself to you, won't voice

what you can sense, won't make it clearer, won't make it easier to

understand. Maybe I could say I understand... but I don't. So here's

what I'm going to say: Why?

"I want to hear you explain to me what you did and what drove you to

it. I want you to justify yourself to me. Am I pressing charges? Yes,

captain, I am. And I'm taking them directly to you. I want you to

investigate why Epic Terrakian raped Mirka Tzavaras' soul."

Epic let his surprise show. She was strong. Maybe that was part of

the attraction. He answered slowly, and in a low voice.

"What I tell you now, I tell you in the confidence of your

office.", he warned. "I will tell you no lies. And I tell you because I

owe you the truth."

He took a moment to prepare his thoughts.

"`Why?'", he started. "I did it because I needed to. I did it

because I can. Did I have a right? No. I did not."

He narrowed his gaze, looking into her eyes deeply. "And I felt

that you would have given me what I needed, if you believed I had the

ability to take it. Ms. Tavaras, you would never give of yourself

voluntarily....", and his voice was almost a whisper. "... but I feel

that now that I have touched you, you are...", he struggled for the

right words. "... excited.. that I did."

He looked into her eyes for a reaction, but spoke before she could

show him one.

"I regret that my weakness clouds my judgements about upon whom I

sometimes... feed.", his eyes became glassy with emotion for a moment.

"I don't think I can make you understand what it is like to be cursed

with a hunger... a need... to take what I need from others. When I am

alone, I am left with an emptiness that cannot be imagined. I am

self-aware enough to know that I am void and cold. But I am a victim

of my own souls coldness."

He sat back with a resigned look.

"Only in the joy of others do I experience joy. Love, excitement,

lust. I am incapable of these beautiful things. But I can feel them

through others."

He seemed to finally come to his point.

"Why did I take from you your strength and courage? Because I

needed it. And I smelled it like a perfume in your aura. I wish that I

had the strength to resist you, but your allure was too great. And I had

such need...."

He allowed her to feel the depth of his emptiness by projecting it

toward her. She shuddered visibly.

"It is not unfair that everyone considers me a monster, Mirka,

because I am. But I am a monster who wishes to become a man sometimes.

But take no pity on my tragedy. I do not deserve it."

Then, something in him changed. His eyes darkened. "And you have my

sworn oath that I will never take from you again." Mirka sensed

something more to come. "But I suspect there will come a time when you

will willfully give yourelf to me. I have a touch of my mothers gift of

prophecy."

Mirka held her breath while sheer panic took control of her.

Yet she couldn't keep herself from looking into Epic's eyes. And that

was when she realised the amplitude of the magnetism this man had on

her. That was when, for the first time, she had to admit to herself

that she was attracted to Epic Terrakian. Because he had told her.

Because somehow his words were the truth she had been hiding from

herself.

That's when panic washed away every rational thought. She was

trapped. Cut in her own desire to learn more about this man and the

confidence that this would destroy her already fragile emotional

balance.

Years of conditioning had taught her not to feel too much, to control

her emotions, to never let anyone know anything about her. All her life

her emotions had been a plague she had to live with. Something she

ignored or tried to. And Epic Terrakian craved those same emotions?

Worst, he seemed to have an insight on them that even she didn't

possessed. She wished she could give them all to him, so he could be

fulfilled and she could be delivered. But it, this vampire thing, was

probably a bit more complicated than that. Besides giving this to him,

even to relieve herself, was giving too much... But that didn't matter

with Epic, because all she tried to hide, he knew. Never had she felt

this... She was afraid of him. But only because he could be the

spokesman of her inner self. He could talk for those emotions she was

trying to ignore.

A chair fell somewhere in the room and broke the spell. Startled,

Mirka turned to see what had happened, breaking eye contact

with Epic. That's what she needed.

"I'm sorry", she apologized to him. She didn't know how much time had

passed since his confession. Somehow, it seemed she had been lost in her

thoughts for a while. But Epic was still looking at her. She felt like

an open book to him, worst an open diary. Focusing on him again she

tried to get her cool back. He could not have that much power over her

if she didn't let him.

"Thank you for being honest with me." Her voice was distant and she

barely whispered the words. She couldn't believe the impact he just had

on her... But, it was not the words he told about himself, it was what

they implied about her.

Epic had said he wasn't a man, he said he was a monster. How she

wished it could be true, but she didn't believe it. It would be so much

easier to convince herself he was the monster people made him out to be.

But she knew it wasn't so, she had been studying human nature for almost

10 years now. And Epic Terrakian was a man. The more she knew him, the

more she was convinced of his humanity. She wouldn't have stayed ship

counselor if she wasn't. But Epic was not the one in trouble here, she

was.

"I should get to my quarters... beauty sleep..." she said with a tight

smile. She got up, took a few steps, then remembered something and

turned to him again. She had a distant look in her eyes.

"You were right when you said I wouldn't give myself volontarily... to

anyone... Ever." There wasn't pride or anger in what she was saying. It

a statement of fact, with perhaps a note of sadness.

"So" she added with a sad smile "I guess we could say your mother's

gift of prophecy has faded with time."

"Good night captain." She turned and walked out of Ten Foward for

what she knew would be a sleepless night.