Subject: Grail: "The Great Brightness" - 'About Last Night...'
Joint post by
Epic Terrakian and
Mirka Tzavaras
<<Stardate: 47307.30- 19:30>>
<<10 Forward>>
It had been a hell of a day. Epic Terrakian had considered going
directly to his quarters and getting a good nights rest. The probe
launched by Janice Hargen had provided a gross wealth of information and
it would be hours before Sciences could make any useful sense out of it.
But one thing was certain in Epics mind. At 09:00 tomorrow, the
Grail was entering the Great Brightness.
Entering the Lounge, Epic sensed the level of tension rise. Too
many rumors had already circulated about the details of this mornings
meeting. He had even heard that he had attacked Kait Brennan, causing
her to be transported directly to Sickbay. He shrugged. If he couldn't
get respect out of this crew, fear would have to do.
But he needed a drink. And he didn't care if he brought every
conversation to a halt or started a fresh batch of rumors. He was going
to have a drink.
He stood in the door, scanning the room. There were a few with whom
he might have sat, but his eye was caught by the Counselor, Mirka
Tzavaras. As he looked at her, she looked up at him. In both their eyes,
there was a blank and calculated recognition. A conversation between
them was inevitable. Especially after Epics `use' of her last night at
ShuttleBay 2.
Without taking his eyes from hers, he walked toward her table. Her
eyes were happy eyes though there was no humor in them now. And her
mouth had a perpetual small smile though Epic thought that it was just a
trademark of her beauty and not a conscious effort.
She seemed more attractive to him today. It wasn't that she wore
anything different. Neither her hair nor her uniform nor her cosmetics
were altered from the last time he'd seen her. It was a by-product of
`the Gift', as Epic had always called his vampiric powers. What he took
from her last night was so much more intimate than what she might have
given as a lover or a friend. He knew what her soul tasted like now. And
she was beautiful.
"Good Evening.", he said to her as he stood beside the chair that
Oku Ramin had sat in. And the seat that William Ramius had sat in before
that. The Counselor was open for business. `5 cents, please.', Magda
giggled in his mind. Epic didn't understand the reference, so he ignored
it. "May I join you?"
"Please.", Mirka nodded. She wasn't suprised he made the first
move to approach her. It showed once again his desire to be in control.
What suprised her was the adrenaline rush she suddently felt.
Epic sat. He steepled his hands before him, elbows on the table.
Touching his fingertips to his lips, he considered his first words. "I
raped you last night. Would you like to file formal charges?"
There was only the suggestion of lightness in his tone. In his
eyes, she saw the deadly seriousness of what he said. And she saw some
regret there also, but that might always be in the eyes of Epic
Terrakian.
Mirka looked at him for a moment and she laughed, a gentle laughter.
But in her mind an alarm rang. This man was dangerous. She locked her
eyes with his again. They were suddenly as serious as his. *Don't let
him throw you off balance* she told herself.
"Very good captain, you managed to suprise me yet again." She stared
at him thoughtfully, did he realize that what he did last night was
something nobody had been able to do in sixteen years? Her emotions
were the only thing she never shared with anyone. This man, in a few
seconds, had manage to make her completely vulnerable.
Last night she had wanted to run as far from him as possible, which
she did, in a way. This morning, however, she wanted to confront him.
After the meeting she had felt like forgetting the whole thing,but she
didn't quite manage that. But now, she had to face him. The counselor
wanted to talk to the captain, but she wasn't sure Mirka was ready to
face the empath, or was it the real Epic Terrakian?... That was the
real question: Who was Epic Terrakian?... This was getting dangerous
indeed.
Finally, she talked in a slow and calm voice.
"I wish I could forbid you to ever do that again... But it would be
useless. I would like to tell you that it didn't mater, but you know
that wouldn't be true. I could get even... and maybe I will, but not
now, not when you're waiting for it. I could tell you how vulnerable
you made me feel last night, but that's what you're expecting isn't it?
But I won't do that, I won't open up more of myself to you, won't voice
what you can sense, won't make it clearer, won't make it easier to
understand. Maybe I could say I understand... but I don't. So here's
what I'm going to say: Why?
"I want to hear you explain to me what you did and what drove you to
it. I want you to justify yourself to me. Am I pressing charges? Yes,
captain, I am. And I'm taking them directly to you. I want you to
investigate why Epic Terrakian raped Mirka Tzavaras' soul."
Epic let his surprise show. She was strong. Maybe that was part of
the attraction. He answered slowly, and in a low voice.
"What I tell you now, I tell you in the confidence of your
office.", he warned. "I will tell you no lies. And I tell you because I
owe you the truth."
He took a moment to prepare his thoughts.
"`Why?'", he started. "I did it because I needed to. I did it
because I can. Did I have a right? No. I did not."
He narrowed his gaze, looking into her eyes deeply. "And I felt
that you would have given me what I needed, if you believed I had the
ability to take it. Ms. Tavaras, you would never give of yourself
voluntarily....", and his voice was almost a whisper. "... but I feel
that now that I have touched you, you are...", he struggled for the
right words. "... excited.. that I did."
He looked into her eyes for a reaction, but spoke before she could
show him one.
"I regret that my weakness clouds my judgements about upon whom I
sometimes... feed.", his eyes became glassy with emotion for a moment.
"I don't think I can make you understand what it is like to be cursed
with a hunger... a need... to take what I need from others. When I am
alone, I am left with an emptiness that cannot be imagined. I am
self-aware enough to know that I am void and cold. But I am a victim
of my own souls coldness."
He sat back with a resigned look.
"Only in the joy of others do I experience joy. Love, excitement,
lust. I am incapable of these beautiful things. But I can feel them
through others."
He seemed to finally come to his point.
"Why did I take from you your strength and courage? Because I
needed it. And I smelled it like a perfume in your aura. I wish that I
had the strength to resist you, but your allure was too great. And I had
such need...."
He allowed her to feel the depth of his emptiness by projecting it
toward her. She shuddered visibly.
"It is not unfair that everyone considers me a monster, Mirka,
because I am. But I am a monster who wishes to become a man sometimes.
But take no pity on my tragedy. I do not deserve it."
Then, something in him changed. His eyes darkened. "And you have my
sworn oath that I will never take from you again." Mirka sensed
something more to come. "But I suspect there will come a time when you
will willfully give yourelf to me. I have a touch of my mothers gift of
prophecy."
Mirka held her breath while sheer panic took control of her.
Yet she couldn't keep herself from looking into Epic's eyes. And that
was when she realised the amplitude of the magnetism this man had on
her. That was when, for the first time, she had to admit to herself
that she was attracted to Epic Terrakian. Because he had told her.
Because somehow his words were the truth she had been hiding from
herself.
That's when panic washed away every rational thought. She was
trapped. Cut in her own desire to learn more about this man and the
confidence that this would destroy her already fragile emotional
balance.
Years of conditioning had taught her not to feel too much, to control
her emotions, to never let anyone know anything about her. All her life
her emotions had been a plague she had to live with. Something she
ignored or tried to. And Epic Terrakian craved those same emotions?
Worst, he seemed to have an insight on them that even she didn't
possessed. She wished she could give them all to him, so he could be
fulfilled and she could be delivered. But it, this vampire thing, was
probably a bit more complicated than that. Besides giving this to him,
even to relieve herself, was giving too much... But that didn't matter
with Epic, because all she tried to hide, he knew. Never had she felt
this... She was afraid of him. But only because he could be the
spokesman of her inner self. He could talk for those emotions she was
trying to ignore.
A chair fell somewhere in the room and broke the spell. Startled,
Mirka turned to see what had happened, breaking eye contact
with Epic. That's what she needed.
"I'm sorry", she apologized to him. She didn't know how much time had
passed since his confession. Somehow, it seemed she had been lost in her
thoughts for a while. But Epic was still looking at her. She felt like
an open book to him, worst an open diary. Focusing on him again she
tried to get her cool back. He could not have that much power over her
if she didn't let him.
"Thank you for being honest with me." Her voice was distant and she
barely whispered the words. She couldn't believe the impact he just had
on her... But, it was not the words he told about himself, it was what
they implied about her.
Epic had said he wasn't a man, he said he was a monster. How she
wished it could be true, but she didn't believe it. It would be so much
easier to convince herself he was the monster people made him out to be.
But she knew it wasn't so, she had been studying human nature for almost
10 years now. And Epic Terrakian was a man. The more she knew him, the
more she was convinced of his humanity. She wouldn't have stayed ship
counselor if she wasn't. But Epic was not the one in trouble here, she
was.
"I should get to my quarters... beauty sleep..." she said with a tight
smile. She got up, took a few steps, then remembered something and
turned to him again. She had a distant look in her eyes.
"You were right when you said I wouldn't give myself volontarily... to
anyone... Ever." There wasn't pride or anger in what she was saying. It
a statement of fact, with perhaps a note of sadness.
"So" she added with a sad smile "I guess we could say your mother's
gift of prophecy has faded with time."
"Good night captain." She turned and walked out of Ten Foward for
what she knew would be a sleepless night.