Subject: Re: Grail:

<<Stardate 47307.30 14:00>>

<<Tzavaras's quarters>>

Mirka woke up. Somebody was bouncing her head on a ciment wall, she

was sure of it. She opened her eyes and her first thought was *I'll

never drink Tequilla again... until next time* she added realisticly.

There was a body lying beside her. She looked at major Athalya Anne

Brinn, then frowned, realising she was in her own room. "How the hell

did that happened?" she thought, getting up. "I never bring anyone to

my room, or appartement. Never let anyone in your intimacy," she

reminded herself. She slightly remembered an argument about this. Then

she remembered Ten foward and Kord the big mouth Ferengi. Oh God, she

tought getting dressed, by now the whole ship must know about the

counselor and the XO's escapade. She silently got out of the room, at

least she had her office to go to.

In the hall she blushed everytime someone looked at her. That was the

difference between her and Brinn. Brinn wouldn't feel guilty, she would.

Mirka should've talked to the captain after the meeting, he was a mess.

But there seemed to be a lot of people ready to do that at the time.

She was starting to wonder if Terrakian was really made for the job of

captain. If he needed others to defend himself in front of his crew, he

wasn't going to last ten years.

She sighed, besides a formidable heardache, nothing was coming out

of this day. She was supposed to solve Demontigny's case. She also

wanted to talk to the ambassador, make up for last night. And there was

a lot of things she should discuss with the captain. She sighed again

heavily, too heavily, she got nauseous. She was gonna have a good cup

of coffee and deal with her personnal demons before going back to her

old sexual habits. It would be easier to forget everything Terrek had

taught her, but she wouldn't do that. Terrek... a wave of pain passed

trough her body making her feel even more nauseous.

Sex wouldn't solve her problems, running was out of the question.

Well, she guessed the only thing left to do was face herself. She had

ten years to learn to accept who she was. Ironic really, that her

biggest escape was really her biggest turnabout.

Entering her office the walls were still spining. She still needed

time before the effect of the tequilla wore off. She carefuly laid on

the floor. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. The coffee and the

introspection were going to have to wait.

________________________________

She woke up a few hours later, in sweat. Her heart was beating fast

and tears were falling down her cheecks. She wiped them off nervously.

This wasn't good, she had too much to do right now. She didn't have

time to deal with herself. She was regressing. An iron hand was

tightening around her hearth. She hadn't had an anxiety attack for

years now and the dream was back again. She got up rapidly, she had

things to do, she wasn't going to dwell on herself. She felt trapped in

this damn ship. Why did she come on board anyway? God... how sadistic

could she be with herself? She took deep breaths.

*Focus* she coached herself *Think of the Mediterranian, think of all

that blue wather, the sun...*

Maybe she should take advantage of the hollodecks soon. She was

calmer now. A shower would finish calming her down. Then she thought

*I will try to either talk to Demontigny, the Torillion or the captain

because there is no way I'll find any sleep for a while.*

Mirka Tzavaras

Ship's Counselor