Subject: USS Grail: 'The Great Brightness' - Light amongst Dark
USS Grail: 'The Great Brightness' - Light Amongst Dark
by
Lt. (jg) Eve Mallory & Lt. Logan Castle
Note: This takes place before Christine LeBlanc's
'Beware of Jealous Klingons.'
<<Stardate: 47307.29- 11:30>>
<Logan Castle's Quarters>
Eve sat in her office, staring at the door. Well, that was
unexpected, she thought. She knew that Jared Deshaine
cared about his wife, enough to stow away on a starship
and try to get her out of the Science Lab she was 'stored'
in. She expected more of a fight from him when she outlined
her plans to find out more about why past attempts to
reclaim her from the Collective had failed. Astonishingly
there had been none. Jared had agreed with her, although
Eve suspected that that was more because he was going to
be present at every stage rather than a desire to take it
slowly.
It seemed that she was surrounded by couples who shared a
deep love. First, there had been Epic Terrakian and R'Laurent,
and now Jared. She wondered what Angeline had been like
before; and whether she could ever be that way again. She
hoped so. But she got the feeling that Jared would accept her
in whatever state, as long as he could have her back in his
life.
Which brought her neatly to Logan Castle. One drink, an
argument, and a one date on the holodeck. But already she
found herself thinking of him at odd moments, and would
be surprised to find herself with a grin on her face. She was
surprised at the feelings she had for him, but she was also
scared.
She was honest enough to know herself. To know her
long-held habit of keeping her emotions locked up inside.
She could let them out, want to keep them free and clear,
but somehow they always ended up hiding away again,
leaving her with a relationship she didn't know how to handle,
because that took feelings she suddanly didn't have. It
had happened that way with Ceece; although the arrival
of V'Jur and the subsequent research and interviews and
just hastened the process. And when Ceece, in a last ditch
attempt to save a relationship she didn't want to loose, so
matter the cost, had told Eve of a good job she had been
offered, Eve's first logical response had been she should
take it. Once again thinking from the head, not the heart.
And Ceece, realising a lost battle and war, had taken it.
It was only after, that Eve regretted her advice, but it
was too late to do anything about it.
She didn't want that to happen with Castle. Which meant
that she would have to come clean to him about what
she was like, and let him make the choice.
She tapped her commbadge. "Mallory to Castle."
=/\=Castle here. What can I do for you, Eve?=/\
"Can we meet up tonight? Somewhere quiet? I
need to talk to you."
=^=How about my quarters? You won't find a quieter
place. Nothing ever happens there.=^=, he replied, the
smile in his voice came through loud and clear.
Eve shook her head smiling. "All right. Until then."
=^=Until then.=^=, he answered, then signed off.
Castle had a difficult time just sitting and waiting for Eve. He
had been sitting and waiting for almost two weeks for Eve
to appoach him with little more than a smile and a polite
word when they had had cause to interract professionally.
He wondered what it was she wanted to talk about?
Finally, he stilled himself. He was acting crazy, even if it
was only in his head. Outwardly, he remained the calm.
And when he finally found his center, the doorbell rang,
and his guts came unravelled again. But, outwardly, he was
calm. Cool. Like the Fonz. He answered the door. "Come in.
Don't mind the tidyness. The maid who usually messes the
place up has been sick for a while." He stepped back to let
her in.
They stood in silence for a long moment.
"So here we are," Castle said. "What's up?"
Eve couldn't sit still, so she got up. "This is difficult for
me," she said, "I need to get all this out, OK?"
Castle nodded and spoke soothingly. "No pressure, Eve.
Take your time."
Eve turned to face him. "We've known each other for
a week," She started, "And I find I can't get you out
of my head."
Castle replied softly, his shy smile showing clearly the pleasure
he took from her revelation. "I've been thinking about you, too. You
might say I've been preoccupied."
Eve smiled at him. "Thanks. Look, I have no idea where
we are going, but I want to find out. I want that a lot; and
I'm hoping you do as well."
Castle leaned in a little closer, as if he were sharing a secret.
"You know I want that, too. That is why you are here now, I think."
"All right." Eve sat down again. "But there are some things
you need to know about me first." She took a deep breath."I
have a problem with feelings," Eve began. "When I was
young I was very frustrated and angry a lot of the time,
as well as the nightmare week when I was paralysed." She
stood up and began to pace. "So I just stuffed all my emotions
down into a little box, and thought my way through things,
without letting emotions get in the way. Bit like a Vulcan,
I guess."
"Anyway, I can let my feelings out, but they almost always
creep back again into their box, leaving me high and dry. I've
never been able to sustain a relationship with anyone for
very long."
"BUT," Eve walked up to Logan, standing close. "You
managed to get through all of my defenses without even
trying, and brought all my feelings out that I'd locked away
after Blake fucked with my head." She smiled, and reached
out to put one hand on his shoulder. "You made me laugh
and you pissed me off, but...." She guestured with both
hands. "... Here we are." Her face grew serious. "I want to
have a relationship with you, Logan. But sooner or later,
my feelings are going to go into hiding. My head feels the
same way as my heart does, but I'm probably going to do
something to screw things up for us." She jabbed him in
the chest lightly. "I don't want you to let me get away with
that, OK? I want you to do whatever you have to, to make
me feel again. D'you think you can handle that?" Her heart
was in her mouth; she didn't know what she would do if
her said no. *Yes you do. Lock your feelings away for ever
and become a Vulcan in all but race. I just hope that my
Friendship with Janice Hargen will be enough to keep me
human.*
Castles face became thoughtful for a long moment. Eve
really hadn't expressed any emotional doubts that he had
never encountered before, nor did she express anything he
had never felt himself. She was talking as if anyone had any
`real' control over their emotions.
"Eve...", he said as he took one of her hands. He turned
it palm side up and touched her softly there. She closed her
hand over his fingers. "... I can handle that." His seriousness
was deliberately replaced by his `bad boy' smile.
"And don't flatter yourself, my lovely. There is nowhere
you can `hide' from me. I'm a detective, remember?"
Eve's face blossomed into a wide smile, that totally transformed
her.
"Great!" She said, still smiling. She moved forward and
wrapped her arms around Logan's neck. "I hope you don't
mind," She murmured, leaning in towards him. "I've been
wanting to do this since the museum."
It was supposed to be a gentle kiss, a simple brush of
lips, but both parties were caught off guard by the explosion
of intensity and feeling; it turned into a battle of mouths and
tongues.
Logan finally had to break away to catch a breath, and
was glad to notice that Eve's chest was heaving as though
breathless too. "Wow.." He managed.
Eve grinned back, still with her arms wrapped around his
neck. "Yeah," She replied. "Me too." Her eyes flicked
down their bodies, now tightly pressed together. "Boy,
you did like that, didn't you?"
Castle could only stammer. "I... you...I mean... yes." It was a
dramatic first for Logan Castle, maybe the only time in his
life when he couldn't think of anything clever to say.
Eve put on a mock serious expression on her face. "I
think in the interest of scientific research we ought to
try that again, see if we get the same response. What
do you think, Lieutenant?"
Logan nodded. "Oh yeah, definately. I'm always interested
in helping with scientific research." He couldn't quite keep
the suggestive grin off his face.
As their lips touched again, Eve murmured into his mouth:
"Thought you might..."
As their lips closed over one another again, Castle gently
disentangled himself from her. He still held her close, though.
"Eve...", he took a deep breath. "It would be the easiest
thing in the galaxy for me to make love to you right now. But,
after all you've said, it would be the wrong thing. Before we
can make love, we should make sure we are in love."
He took her chin in his hand. "I won't ever hurt you, Eve."
And in his eyes, there was not even a hint of the `playful
boy' he works so hard at affecting. She was looking at a
passionately serious `man'. And she could also see, as a
woman can always see, that if she kissed him again, all his
resolve would be washed away like tears in the rain. His
restraint, in the face of her heat and passion, was admirable.
But, he was at his limit.
Just a single kiss would start a chain reaction he would be
powerless to stop.
Eve looked into his eyes a few inches away. A huge part of her
wanted to kiss him, to start that explosion of sensation, of
passion. If it was anything like the feelings she got when they
kissed, it was going to be..... incredible.
And she wanted that.
But she also knew that he was right. The coldly analytical
part of herself brought that reason up. If she took it further
now, if they ended up between the sheets, it wouldn't be
making love; it would be fucking. The wounds caused by
Blake were still to fresh, and it would be soooo *easy* to
use Logan to wipe those memories out, to just get animalistic
with someone, anyone.
No. It was better to wait. Until she was sure that she was with
Logan because she loved him, and not just because she was
using him.
She leant forward, resting her forehead against his, staring
into his serious eyes, and swallowed. She knew he could see
what she felt, like he could her.
"You're right," She said quietly. "If we do this now it will
be for all the wrong reasons." She reached out and stroked
his cheeck gently, lovingly. "And I want to tell you those
reasons, Logan, I want..." She paused, closed her eyes as
she said the words. "I want to love you; not because you're
an excuse to dump some bad memories," She opened her eyes
again, looked seriously into his eyes. "But because I love
*you* for *you*." She let out a trembling breath; never had
a sentence been so hard to say.
Or meant so much.
Castle didn't speak, but his eyes spoke volumes. Eve stroked
his cheek again, and stepped back.
"Listen," She said, with a half-smile. "D'you want to go back
to the museum again? I'd like to take another look around, if
you don't mind."
Castle smiled at the thought, but said. "We'll definitely return to
the museum again, but I've got someplace else I'd like to show you
first. OK?"
Eve nodded, her eyes suddanly afaire with curiosity. "Sure."
"Now, if you'll excuse me...", he said, grabbing a clipboard to
cover his.... distress. "I'm going to see just how cold these
showers can get. See you tomorrow, Eve."
Then with a massive cleansing breath and a broad smile,
Castle left.
A few seconds later he returned. "I forgot....", he threw up his
hands in total humorous agitation. "..These are my quarters."
Eve laughed as she left. As the door slid closed behind her,
she stood there for several moments, aware of a huge, idiot
grin on her face. It was going to work out. And just the thought
of it filled her with a heat she'd long forgotten.
"Maybe I'd better find out about the cold setting as well,"
She said aloud as she walked off.
As she cleared the corner, moving out of sight. T'Arna stepped
around the other corner, her dark eyes glaring after the other
woman. If looks could kill, and Eve had been held in that look,
she might well have combusted from the heated rage in those
dark orbs.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Jason Cleaver
Lieutenant (jg) Eve Mallory
Chief Science Officer: USS Grail
argo@easynet.co.uk / ICQ Number: #4194684