Subject: USS Grail: 'The Great Brightness' - Light amongst Dark

USS Grail: 'The Great Brightness' - Light Amongst Dark

by

Lt. (jg) Eve Mallory & Lt. Logan Castle

Note: This takes place before Christine LeBlanc's

'Beware of Jealous Klingons.'

<<Stardate: 47307.29- 11:30>>

<Logan Castle's Quarters>

Eve sat in her office, staring at the door. Well, that was

unexpected, she thought. She knew that Jared Deshaine

cared about his wife, enough to stow away on a starship

and try to get her out of the Science Lab she was 'stored'

in. She expected more of a fight from him when she outlined

her plans to find out more about why past attempts to

reclaim her from the Collective had failed. Astonishingly

there had been none. Jared had agreed with her, although

Eve suspected that that was more because he was going to

be present at every stage rather than a desire to take it

slowly.

It seemed that she was surrounded by couples who shared a

deep love. First, there had been Epic Terrakian and R'Laurent,

and now Jared. She wondered what Angeline had been like

before; and whether she could ever be that way again. She

hoped so. But she got the feeling that Jared would accept her

in whatever state, as long as he could have her back in his

life.

Which brought her neatly to Logan Castle. One drink, an

argument, and a one date on the holodeck. But already she

found herself thinking of him at odd moments, and would

be surprised to find herself with a grin on her face. She was

surprised at the feelings she had for him, but she was also

scared.

She was honest enough to know herself. To know her

long-held habit of keeping her emotions locked up inside.

She could let them out, want to keep them free and clear,

but somehow they always ended up hiding away again,

leaving her with a relationship she didn't know how to handle,

because that took feelings she suddanly didn't have. It

had happened that way with Ceece; although the arrival

of V'Jur and the subsequent research and interviews and

just hastened the process. And when Ceece, in a last ditch

attempt to save a relationship she didn't want to loose, so

matter the cost, had told Eve of a good job she had been

offered, Eve's first logical response had been she should

take it. Once again thinking from the head, not the heart.

And Ceece, realising a lost battle and war, had taken it.

It was only after, that Eve regretted her advice, but it

was too late to do anything about it.

She didn't want that to happen with Castle. Which meant

that she would have to come clean to him about what

she was like, and let him make the choice.

She tapped her commbadge. "Mallory to Castle."

=/\=Castle here. What can I do for you, Eve?=/\

"Can we meet up tonight? Somewhere quiet? I

need to talk to you."

=^=How about my quarters? You won't find a quieter

place. Nothing ever happens there.=^=, he replied, the

smile in his voice came through loud and clear.

Eve shook her head smiling. "All right. Until then."

=^=Until then.=^=, he answered, then signed off.

Castle had a difficult time just sitting and waiting for Eve. He

had been sitting and waiting for almost two weeks for Eve

to appoach him with little more than a smile and a polite

word when they had had cause to interract professionally.

He wondered what it was she wanted to talk about?

Finally, he stilled himself. He was acting crazy, even if it

was only in his head. Outwardly, he remained the calm.

And when he finally found his center, the doorbell rang,

and his guts came unravelled again. But, outwardly, he was

calm. Cool. Like the Fonz. He answered the door. "Come in.

Don't mind the tidyness. The maid who usually messes the

place up has been sick for a while." He stepped back to let

her in.

They stood in silence for a long moment.

"So here we are," Castle said. "What's up?"

Eve couldn't sit still, so she got up. "This is difficult for

me," she said, "I need to get all this out, OK?"

Castle nodded and spoke soothingly. "No pressure, Eve.

Take your time."

Eve turned to face him. "We've known each other for

a week," She started, "And I find I can't get you out

of my head."

Castle replied softly, his shy smile showing clearly the pleasure

he took from her revelation. "I've been thinking about you, too. You

might say I've been preoccupied."

Eve smiled at him. "Thanks. Look, I have no idea where

we are going, but I want to find out. I want that a lot; and

I'm hoping you do as well."

Castle leaned in a little closer, as if he were sharing a secret.

"You know I want that, too. That is why you are here now, I think."

"All right." Eve sat down again. "But there are some things

you need to know about me first." She took a deep breath."I

have a problem with feelings," Eve began. "When I was

young I was very frustrated and angry a lot of the time,

as well as the nightmare week when I was paralysed." She

stood up and began to pace. "So I just stuffed all my emotions

down into a little box, and thought my way through things,

without letting emotions get in the way. Bit like a Vulcan,

I guess."

"Anyway, I can let my feelings out, but they almost always

creep back again into their box, leaving me high and dry. I've

never been able to sustain a relationship with anyone for

very long."

"BUT," Eve walked up to Logan, standing close. "You

managed to get through all of my defenses without even

trying, and brought all my feelings out that I'd locked away

after Blake fucked with my head." She smiled, and reached

out to put one hand on his shoulder. "You made me laugh

and you pissed me off, but...." She guestured with both

hands. "... Here we are." Her face grew serious. "I want to

have a relationship with you, Logan. But sooner or later,

my feelings are going to go into hiding. My head feels the

same way as my heart does, but I'm probably going to do

something to screw things up for us." She jabbed him in

the chest lightly. "I don't want you to let me get away with

that, OK? I want you to do whatever you have to, to make

me feel again. D'you think you can handle that?" Her heart

was in her mouth; she didn't know what she would do if

her said no. *Yes you do. Lock your feelings away for ever

and become a Vulcan in all but race. I just hope that my

Friendship with Janice Hargen will be enough to keep me

human.*

Castles face became thoughtful for a long moment. Eve

really hadn't expressed any emotional doubts that he had

never encountered before, nor did she express anything he

had never felt himself. She was talking as if anyone had any

`real' control over their emotions.

"Eve...", he said as he took one of her hands. He turned

it palm side up and touched her softly there. She closed her

hand over his fingers. "... I can handle that." His seriousness

was deliberately replaced by his `bad boy' smile.

"And don't flatter yourself, my lovely. There is nowhere

you can `hide' from me. I'm a detective, remember?"

Eve's face blossomed into a wide smile, that totally transformed

her.

"Great!" She said, still smiling. She moved forward and

wrapped her arms around Logan's neck. "I hope you don't

mind," She murmured, leaning in towards him. "I've been

wanting to do this since the museum."

It was supposed to be a gentle kiss, a simple brush of

lips, but both parties were caught off guard by the explosion

of intensity and feeling; it turned into a battle of mouths and

tongues.

Logan finally had to break away to catch a breath, and

was glad to notice that Eve's chest was heaving as though

breathless too. "Wow.." He managed.

Eve grinned back, still with her arms wrapped around his

neck. "Yeah," She replied. "Me too." Her eyes flicked

down their bodies, now tightly pressed together. "Boy,

you did like that, didn't you?"

Castle could only stammer. "I... you...I mean... yes." It was a

dramatic first for Logan Castle, maybe the only time in his

life when he couldn't think of anything clever to say.

Eve put on a mock serious expression on her face. "I

think in the interest of scientific research we ought to

try that again, see if we get the same response. What

do you think, Lieutenant?"

Logan nodded. "Oh yeah, definately. I'm always interested

in helping with scientific research." He couldn't quite keep

the suggestive grin off his face.

As their lips touched again, Eve murmured into his mouth:

"Thought you might..."

As their lips closed over one another again, Castle gently

disentangled himself from her. He still held her close, though.

"Eve...", he took a deep breath. "It would be the easiest

thing in the galaxy for me to make love to you right now. But,

after all you've said, it would be the wrong thing. Before we

can make love, we should make sure we are in love."

He took her chin in his hand. "I won't ever hurt you, Eve."

And in his eyes, there was not even a hint of the `playful

boy' he works so hard at affecting. She was looking at a

passionately serious `man'. And she could also see, as a

woman can always see, that if she kissed him again, all his

resolve would be washed away like tears in the rain. His

restraint, in the face of her heat and passion, was admirable.

But, he was at his limit.

Just a single kiss would start a chain reaction he would be

powerless to stop.

Eve looked into his eyes a few inches away. A huge part of her

wanted to kiss him, to start that explosion of sensation, of

passion. If it was anything like the feelings she got when they

kissed, it was going to be..... incredible.

And she wanted that.

But she also knew that he was right. The coldly analytical

part of herself brought that reason up. If she took it further

now, if they ended up between the sheets, it wouldn't be

making love; it would be fucking. The wounds caused by

Blake were still to fresh, and it would be soooo *easy* to

use Logan to wipe those memories out, to just get animalistic

with someone, anyone.

No. It was better to wait. Until she was sure that she was with

Logan because she loved him, and not just because she was

using him.

She leant forward, resting her forehead against his, staring

into his serious eyes, and swallowed. She knew he could see

what she felt, like he could her.

"You're right," She said quietly. "If we do this now it will

be for all the wrong reasons." She reached out and stroked

his cheeck gently, lovingly. "And I want to tell you those

reasons, Logan, I want..." She paused, closed her eyes as

she said the words. "I want to love you; not because you're

an excuse to dump some bad memories," She opened her eyes

again, looked seriously into his eyes. "But because I love

*you* for *you*." She let out a trembling breath; never had

a sentence been so hard to say.

Or meant so much.

Castle didn't speak, but his eyes spoke volumes. Eve stroked

his cheek again, and stepped back.

"Listen," She said, with a half-smile. "D'you want to go back

to the museum again? I'd like to take another look around, if

you don't mind."

Castle smiled at the thought, but said. "We'll definitely return to

the museum again, but I've got someplace else I'd like to show you

first. OK?"

Eve nodded, her eyes suddanly afaire with curiosity. "Sure."

"Now, if you'll excuse me...", he said, grabbing a clipboard to

cover his.... distress. "I'm going to see just how cold these

showers can get. See you tomorrow, Eve."

Then with a massive cleansing breath and a broad smile,

Castle left.

A few seconds later he returned. "I forgot....", he threw up his

hands in total humorous agitation. "..These are my quarters."

Eve laughed as she left. As the door slid closed behind her,

she stood there for several moments, aware of a huge, idiot

grin on her face. It was going to work out. And just the thought

of it filled her with a heat she'd long forgotten.

"Maybe I'd better find out about the cold setting as well,"

She said aloud as she walked off.

As she cleared the corner, moving out of sight. T'Arna stepped

around the other corner, her dark eyes glaring after the other

woman. If looks could kill, and Eve had been held in that look,

she might well have combusted from the heated rage in those

dark orbs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Jason Cleaver

Lieutenant (jg) Eve Mallory

Chief Science Officer: USS Grail

argo@easynet.co.uk / ICQ Number: #4194684