Subject: Grail: "The Great Brightness" - `The Fool No More'
<OOC: This post will reflect and incorporate both of the reactions
expressed by Ambassador T'Nek and Lt. Comm. Janice Hargen>
<<Stardate: 47307.30- 09:ish>>
<<Observation Lounge>>
Epic heard Kaitlyn Brennans words through a crimson haze of rage.
If not for her obvious smirk of amusement at his anger, he might have
listened more closely. But he couldn't now. All he could do was fume.
She, like so many others, mistook his desire to include them in his
plans for the Grails future as weakness or inability to command. And
she, like so many others, mistook his rage for indignation. But it was
not petty self importance. His rage was provoked by their ignorant
betrayal. They thought him a fool. A fool for asking their help. And
maybe he was. But he would be the fool no more.
Suddenly, though, he felt... a touch. It was a strange sort of
pressure, but he immediately felt some of the heat of his fury disipate.
He turned to look at T'Nek Destazio. What was he saying? He was thanking
him? The `Lords' might not be Kerestians? It was all just noise right
now. And Epic needed space if he was to calm himself.
"We will discuss this after we have negotiated the Great
Brightness, Ambassador.", Epic said with an obvious dismissive tone. And
as T'Nek turned to go, Epic said in an almost gutteral voice. "And I
don't know what you did....", his eyes narrowing to slits. "... but
don't ever do it again."
And before Epic allowed his rage to build again, he turned away
from the Torrilion and faced the window.
He wasn't even aware that they were all gone. He stood rigidly, his
own pulse pounding in his ears. Suddenly, though, he felt a gentle hand
on his shoulder, and it caused him to jump, his hands balling into
fists. It was Janice.
"Relax, Epic. It's over.", she said soothingly, taking him into her
arms, holding him close.
Epic stood as rigidly as he had a moment ago. But he allowed
himself to melt, a little, for Janices sake. If it had been anyone else,
he would have sucked the soul out of them and broken their neck. But it
WAS Janice. And she cared about him. Only the Four Deities knew why, but
she did. And the warmth of her was enough to calm him.
"They think me weak because I ask for their help.", he spoke into
her sweet-smelling hair. "They think me inadequate because I don't have
all the answers. If I had all the answers, there wouldn't be a need for
any of THEM."
Janice said nothing. She held him and listened.
"This open forum was a foolish effort on my part. They don't want
to take responsibility for the success or failure of this mission. They
only want the security of a target to vent their hate upon when it
fails."
Epic held Janice at arms length. He looked into her eyes, bluer now
than before, and saw her sympathy. He wished he could `feel' her. If
there was ever a sweeter emotion than her sympathy, Epic couldn't
imagine it. `She has suffered so much in her life, but it didn't stop
her from suffering for others.'
"I honestly thought they would want to ... to..." Epic couldn't
even find the words. And he wouldn't. There were too many of them, each
with their own impressions of his inadequacies. And finally, he decided,
it didn't matter.
"We will fail, Janice.", he almost whispered. "I don't know how to
move them, and I am a fool and a weakling if I ask their aid. The only
winning move is not to play that game."
He released his embrace of her, standing straighter. "They will all
do as ordered. I will brook no revolt. And if your assistant still
objects to participating, allow her to abstain. We... I.. need noone
whose heart is not in this."
Janice said nothing. She stood silently before him, in her eyes, he
saw all her sympathy and support. A sudden urge to take her into his
arms and kiss her filled his chest. But he was the master of his own
drives. It would do no good to compromise her loyalty that way.
All he could do was stand there and admire her.