Subject: Grail:"Last Look Back"-'Unexpected Compassion'
USS Grail: "Last Look Back" - 'Unexpected Compassion'
by Captain Epic Terrakian & Lt. Commander Janice Hargen
<<Stardate: 47307.18 - 12:48>>
<<Science Lab 4>>
Janice leaned heavily against the turbolift wall. She needed rest.
Everything in her was screaming it. But she just didn't have the time.
There were so many repairs that needed to be attended to, so many people
to talk to, to take care of. And she had just found out that Kait was
off duty for the day due to an injury she had sustained on the away
mission. She was on her own.
She fought the impulse to fall to the ground and cry in frustration.
Grimacing, she sent the turbolift to engineering, but halted it
suddenly. Epic's command rang in her ears - she was supposed to report
to him ages ago. Taking a shaky breath, she bit her lip to keep it from
trembling. She didn't feel up to a talk from the captain about the
appropriate behavior in an emergency situation - that she shouldn't have
left the battle bridge in the middle of a battle. But what had to be
done...
She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, both trying to keep
herself awake and keep her hands from trembling with exhaustion.
"Computer, what is the location of Commander Epic Terrakian?"
[Captain's Ready Room.]
"Okay, take me there," Janice murmured, too exhausted to specify
anything more. She didn't want to see herself in a mirror. She must
look like death warmed over. Her hair was a mess, taken out of the
intricate French braid she usually had it in and left free to tumble
around her shoulders. But now it was matted from the time she had spent
lying on the floor of Science Lab 4. Her eyes were red with exhaustion
and from the times she just had to blink back the tears. Her face was
pale as a ghost. Her posture sagged, a complete change to the normal,
self-assured posture she usually held. The day had just taken
everything out of her.
The turbolift finally stopped and she stumbled out onto the Main Bridge,
ignoring the startled looks she received. She touched the keypad
outside of the ready room and waited for the familiar "come" before she
entered.
Epic was sitting at his desk, tapping lazily at a padd before him. She
walked over to his desk, managing to maintain a steady step as much as
possible. "You requested my presence, sir?"
Epic stood up abruptly, making himself ready to catch Janice should she
fall. And it looked as if she might. He came around the desk, took her
hand and eased her into a chair. Janice, startled, allowed herself to
be gently lead into the chair. She looked at him curiously.
"Janice," Epic almost whispered. His sympathy was genuine. "Janice, you
could have just as easily submitted your report in writing. I admire
your strength, but you have pushed yourself too far."
'For you, you bastard.', he thought to himself. `She did this to herself
for you.'
He bent to look into her tired eyes.
"The reason I wanted to see you, was to tell you how grateful I was for
your efforts in the battle with the Romulans. It was too close and all
might have been lost without you." Epic sank onto his haunches until he
was looking up at her where she sat.
"I don't know what you did, but I see now what it did to you and I'm
sorry. I asked for too much and it cost so much. Of you, and so many
others. I am so sorry."
Janice shook her head, blinking heavily. She was in shock. She had
expected some kind of lecture, or perhaps a list of things to get done,
but not this. Not the sudden compassion that he laid upon her. She was
in such an exhausted state that she feared she would just burst into
tears. She swallowed heavily, not allowing herself to speak.
He rubbed her small hand between his two larger ones. It never occurred
to him that she could have splintered all the bones in those two larger
hands with a casual gesture.
"Can you walk a little further, yet? I want you to go to your quarters
immediately and rest."
Janice opened her mouth to argue, wanting to describe to him the
enormous repairs that needed to be done, the fact that she had to work
on the cloaking device, that Kait was going to be unable to help her.
But she stopped before she began. The look in his eye made her sure
that he would accept no argument. And, for once, Janice didn't feel
like arguing with a commanding officer. She nodded slowly instead,
struggling to stand. Epic reached out his hand and helped her, and she
managed a small grateful smile.
"Come on. I'll walk you," he said. Then, together, they walked onto the
Bridge.
The Bridge crew did not react to the almost intimate contact they shared
as they walked. It was evident in Epic's physical attitude that he was
concerned and supportive. And, it was the second such display today.
Those present had seen, or had heard rumor, about how their Captain had
carried Lt. Kaitlyn Brennan to Sickbay from the 10-Forward Lounge.
Captain Dracula was earning quite a reputation as a `Florence
Nightingale'. And a `ladies man'. Neither of which he would have thought
he deserved, had he been aware.
They entered the turbolift, leaving behind the growing seeds of rumor.
Janice closed her eyes during the long turbolift ride to her quarters,
letting Epic direct the lift. She didn't know what to think. She had
expected a reprimand, and had received praise instead. She had expected
anger, and instead was comforted. She rested her head lightly on Epic's
shoulder without even realizing it. As she felt the turbolift begin to
slow and stop, she readied herself for the walk to her quarters.
Each step was exhausting. It always seemed like she could barely get
the energy to raise her foot, only to let it drop to the floor, and she
had to ready herself for the next one. Epic offered his arm to her,
which she accepted gratefully. Although she was made of metal, she was
as light as a regular human being, and so her leaning on him barely
affected him, surprisingly enough.
Finally, they reached her quarters. Epic stood at the doorway and keyed
the door to open. She looked up at him wearily, but with a small smile
on her face.
Epic broke the silence. "Janice, I want you to remain off duty until
your next shift at 0800 tomorrow. No argument. Understood?"
Janice's eyes widened. *It's too much time,* she thought, shocked.
*Not with all the repairs that needed to be done...* Janice sighed to
herself and nodded - again, she was sure he would accept nothing but
agreement. She had a competent crew that could handle itself. She'd
just send a couple messages down to engineering putting K'tel in charge
for now, Ensign Nila in charge during yellow shift, and Lt. Porter can
remain in command during then it should be all right until then. Or she
tried to convince herself that it would.
In a quick movement, Janice wrapped her arms around Epic's neck, hugging
him tightly. "Thank you, Epic," she whispered, her voice thick with
emotion. It was the first thing she had said since she had entered his
ready room, besides informing him of her presence. The pure gratitude
she felt was clear in her voice, making it unnecessary for him to be
able to see it in her eyes.
She no longer knew what to believe. She suddenly found that she had two
friends, two people that cared. And understood. That was what was most
important to her. They knew what she was and didn't treat her any
differently from before. It was something terribly new to her - to feel
accepted, for all that she was. Her throat began to close on her and
she realized that if she didn't leave now, then she would begin to cry
on Epic's shoulder in the middle of the hallway. She could feel the
first tear coming, traveling lightly down her cheek, tracing it with its
wetness.
She finally pulled away and gave him one last smile before she entered
her quarters. Before she turned away, however, Epic managed to glimpse
that one tear, glistening on her cheek before the doors closed behind
her.