Subject: Grail:"Last Look Back"-'Unexpected Compassion'

USS Grail: "Last Look Back" - 'Unexpected Compassion'

by Captain Epic Terrakian & Lt. Commander Janice Hargen

<<Stardate: 47307.18 - 12:48>>

<<Science Lab 4>>

Janice leaned heavily against the turbolift wall. She needed rest.

Everything in her was screaming it. But she just didn't have the time.

There were so many repairs that needed to be attended to, so many people

to talk to, to take care of. And she had just found out that Kait was

off duty for the day due to an injury she had sustained on the away

mission. She was on her own.

She fought the impulse to fall to the ground and cry in frustration.

Grimacing, she sent the turbolift to engineering, but halted it

suddenly. Epic's command rang in her ears - she was supposed to report

to him ages ago. Taking a shaky breath, she bit her lip to keep it from

trembling. She didn't feel up to a talk from the captain about the

appropriate behavior in an emergency situation - that she shouldn't have

left the battle bridge in the middle of a battle. But what had to be

done...

She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, both trying to keep

herself awake and keep her hands from trembling with exhaustion.

"Computer, what is the location of Commander Epic Terrakian?"

[Captain's Ready Room.]

"Okay, take me there," Janice murmured, too exhausted to specify

anything more. She didn't want to see herself in a mirror. She must

look like death warmed over. Her hair was a mess, taken out of the

intricate French braid she usually had it in and left free to tumble

around her shoulders. But now it was matted from the time she had spent

lying on the floor of Science Lab 4. Her eyes were red with exhaustion

and from the times she just had to blink back the tears. Her face was

pale as a ghost. Her posture sagged, a complete change to the normal,

self-assured posture she usually held. The day had just taken

everything out of her.

The turbolift finally stopped and she stumbled out onto the Main Bridge,

ignoring the startled looks she received. She touched the keypad

outside of the ready room and waited for the familiar "come" before she

entered.

Epic was sitting at his desk, tapping lazily at a padd before him. She

walked over to his desk, managing to maintain a steady step as much as

possible. "You requested my presence, sir?"

Epic stood up abruptly, making himself ready to catch Janice should she

fall. And it looked as if she might. He came around the desk, took her

hand and eased her into a chair. Janice, startled, allowed herself to

be gently lead into the chair. She looked at him curiously.

"Janice," Epic almost whispered. His sympathy was genuine. "Janice, you

could have just as easily submitted your report in writing. I admire

your strength, but you have pushed yourself too far."

'For you, you bastard.', he thought to himself. `She did this to herself

for you.'

He bent to look into her tired eyes.

"The reason I wanted to see you, was to tell you how grateful I was for

your efforts in the battle with the Romulans. It was too close and all

might have been lost without you." Epic sank onto his haunches until he

was looking up at her where she sat.

"I don't know what you did, but I see now what it did to you and I'm

sorry. I asked for too much and it cost so much. Of you, and so many

others. I am so sorry."

Janice shook her head, blinking heavily. She was in shock. She had

expected some kind of lecture, or perhaps a list of things to get done,

but not this. Not the sudden compassion that he laid upon her. She was

in such an exhausted state that she feared she would just burst into

tears. She swallowed heavily, not allowing herself to speak.

He rubbed her small hand between his two larger ones. It never occurred

to him that she could have splintered all the bones in those two larger

hands with a casual gesture.

"Can you walk a little further, yet? I want you to go to your quarters

immediately and rest."

Janice opened her mouth to argue, wanting to describe to him the

enormous repairs that needed to be done, the fact that she had to work

on the cloaking device, that Kait was going to be unable to help her.

But she stopped before she began. The look in his eye made her sure

that he would accept no argument. And, for once, Janice didn't feel

like arguing with a commanding officer. She nodded slowly instead,

struggling to stand. Epic reached out his hand and helped her, and she

managed a small grateful smile.

"Come on. I'll walk you," he said. Then, together, they walked onto the

Bridge.

The Bridge crew did not react to the almost intimate contact they shared

as they walked. It was evident in Epic's physical attitude that he was

concerned and supportive. And, it was the second such display today.

Those present had seen, or had heard rumor, about how their Captain had

carried Lt. Kaitlyn Brennan to Sickbay from the 10-Forward Lounge.

Captain Dracula was earning quite a reputation as a `Florence

Nightingale'. And a `ladies man'. Neither of which he would have thought

he deserved, had he been aware.

They entered the turbolift, leaving behind the growing seeds of rumor.

Janice closed her eyes during the long turbolift ride to her quarters,

letting Epic direct the lift. She didn't know what to think. She had

expected a reprimand, and had received praise instead. She had expected

anger, and instead was comforted. She rested her head lightly on Epic's

shoulder without even realizing it. As she felt the turbolift begin to

slow and stop, she readied herself for the walk to her quarters.

Each step was exhausting. It always seemed like she could barely get

the energy to raise her foot, only to let it drop to the floor, and she

had to ready herself for the next one. Epic offered his arm to her,

which she accepted gratefully. Although she was made of metal, she was

as light as a regular human being, and so her leaning on him barely

affected him, surprisingly enough.

Finally, they reached her quarters. Epic stood at the doorway and keyed

the door to open. She looked up at him wearily, but with a small smile

on her face.

Epic broke the silence. "Janice, I want you to remain off duty until

your next shift at 0800 tomorrow. No argument. Understood?"

Janice's eyes widened. *It's too much time,* she thought, shocked.

*Not with all the repairs that needed to be done...* Janice sighed to

herself and nodded - again, she was sure he would accept nothing but

agreement. She had a competent crew that could handle itself. She'd

just send a couple messages down to engineering putting K'tel in charge

for now, Ensign Nila in charge during yellow shift, and Lt. Porter can

remain in command during then it should be all right until then. Or she

tried to convince herself that it would.

In a quick movement, Janice wrapped her arms around Epic's neck, hugging

him tightly. "Thank you, Epic," she whispered, her voice thick with

emotion. It was the first thing she had said since she had entered his

ready room, besides informing him of her presence. The pure gratitude

she felt was clear in her voice, making it unnecessary for him to be

able to see it in her eyes.

She no longer knew what to believe. She suddenly found that she had two

friends, two people that cared. And understood. That was what was most

important to her. They knew what she was and didn't treat her any

differently from before. It was something terribly new to her - to feel

accepted, for all that she was. Her throat began to close on her and

she realized that if she didn't leave now, then she would begin to cry

on Epic's shoulder in the middle of the hallway. She could feel the

first tear coming, traveling lightly down her cheek, tracing it with its

wetness.

She finally pulled away and gave him one last smile before she entered

her quarters. Before she turned away, however, Epic managed to glimpse

that one tear, glistening on her cheek before the doors closed behind