USS Grail: Lunch Break - ...Eve, by any other name...

by Lt. (jg) Eve Mallory and Lt. Logan Castle

Location: Ten Forward

Castle glided up next to Eve Mallory and settled into her space. He was taller than her, so he leaned closer and down to speak in a low tone.

"I saved the best table in 10-Forward for us. Care to join me at lunch?", Castle smiled as if the invitation were a foregone conclusion. There was no doubt in his mind that Eve would join him.

*Oh, this guy thinks he's irresistible!* Eve thought to herself. She'd sensed him behind her, watching and (she couldn't be sure about this one) smelling her. It was nice to be the focus of attention of someone who's intent wasn't to run another series of tests, or ask her (yet again) about what had happened, or had managed to... no, don't think about that. It was over and done. She'd never have to see or hear from Blake again.

She moved slightly away from him and turned. "Sure," She replied.

Castle admitted Eve through the doors of the Lounge, encouraging her with a hand placed gently at the small of her back. It was an intimate gesture, but not oppressive in any way.

*Slick.*, Eve thought, *very slick*. In the vernacular of her century, the move would have been called `slick'. It was an intimate gesture that could have been played off as innocent, if it met with objection.

But, Eve suspected that it might have been innocent. If not innocent, unconscious. She got the feeling that this was how Logan Castle treated women he dated. Courteous, elegant. And just this side of pushy. Just like the man himself.

In every restaurant, cafe', bistro, diner, mess-hall, or lounge, there is always `the best seat in the house'. In the 10-Forward Lounge, that best seat was the forward section facing the nose of the vessel. At warp, the rainbow of trans-warp travel painted the clear aluminum windows a scintillating prism of colors. At rest, it was still a lovely panorama. The view that showed in that space now was Earth. It was at the narrowest end of the diminishing room and, as such, provided the greatest intimacy.

And, at the moment, it was occupied by a pair of engineers. One a Terran, the other a Vulcan.

"I guess you didn't have reservations after all.", Eve teased.

Castle looked at her with unfailing humor and headed toward the best seat in the house.

"Excuse me, Ensigns.", Castle interrupted their conversation. "Lt. Logan Castle, Chief of Security. Listen, gentlemen. I need to commandeer this table as a surveillance post for a delicate investigation. If you don't mind....." Castle got out of their way in an obvious charade of dismissing them.

The Terran and the Vulcan exchanged a single look, considering for a moment arguing, then submitted to the will of a superior officer.

Castle placed his tray in the vacant Vulcans spot and pulled out the Terrans chair for Eve.

His smile showed a victorious grin and a subtle sheepishness at the same time.

Eve was having fun. She couldn't believe the 'delicate investigation' line Castle had just come out with, or the fact that it had actually worked, on a Vulcan of all races, but here they were. She glanced down at Earth turning in the window, and remembered last night, hugging a sobbing R'Laurent. She supposed she should say something to Commander Terrakian about it. But what? 'I'm sorry Commander, I tried to change her mind?'

Castle finally decided to take a chance and get to an issue that compelled him.

"May I ask you a personal question?", he asked, lowering his voice and leaning toward her.

Eve turned back to him. "Depends on the question." She replied, her smile slipping slightly. There was a sense of foreboding in her stomach. *Oh please don't ruin this, I'm having too much fun...*

"What .... how.... I mean... Ok.", he stopped himself. He knew what he wanted to ask, but there just didn't seem to be a `right' way. He sighed.

"I guess, when you get right down to it,...", he whispered. "What I really want to ask, I don't think I have the right to ask."

Eve's smile was gone now. She *knew* what it was he wanted to ask, and she just wanted it over and done with. "Just ask!" She almost snapped.

"What does it feel like to be an android? I mean, your bio says you were a woman from the 23rd century who was recreated to be what you are now. If you remember what it feels like to be human, what does it feel like now? How is it different?"

*Damn, damn, damn damn!* Eve couldn't believe it. He wasn't interested in her, he was interested in what she was! He'd probably never slept with a machine and wanted to try the experience. He'd probably heard about Commander Data's 'multiple pleasure techniques' and assumed she had that too. It was Blake all over again; except Blake had been one hell of a lot more subtle about it. The formerly pleasant mood was gone. Her voice was clipped and firm, with none of the teasing in it from before. Her eyes were cold.

"In the first place, Lieutenant, I am *not* an android. The official term is replicant. That means that this body has been replicated exactly, down to the molecular level and possibly beyond.

I do remember what it was like to be human. For me, that was just over three months ago. I always wished to be free of my cybernetics and be normal again. Part of my wish was granted."

Mallory stood up. "Always be careful what you wish for, Lieutenant. Because you might just get it." There was a bitter twist to her words. "Now, if you will excuse me, I want to see if R'Laurent had written any reports on the Science Department, so that I can add them to my own."

Castle stood as Eve turned away. He reached out to touch her shoulder. It was not an effort to restrain her, it was just a simple contact.

"I am sorry, Eve.", he said in such a low tone, that she barely heard him. "I had no idea that I was being ugly by asking that question.

"I apologize for my ignorance. I didn't know that this had been a painful ordeal for you. Unfortunately, I had to hurt you to find out. I wish I hadn't."

Castle stood there for a moment longer, until the guilty shame that he felt faded a little.

"But, if I may, you possess a completely unique perspective. In all the known expanses of our awareness, you alone knows what it feels like to be you. Maybe I get too personal too fast, I don't know. But, you are fascinating to me and I was just trying to get to know you. But, I never intended to anger you."

He looked like his enthusiasm had been totally defeated. But, then, like a fresh gush of frothing foam from a quiet fountain, his eyes sparkled playfully, even if his attitude was completely self-depricating. He leaned toward her, close enough to almost touch.

"And before you get too upset about being one of the most special people in all the galaxy, you should try being `dime-a-dozen'. No one ever asks me any personal questions. I am so common, who cares?"

And right after he said it, Castle deflated somewhat. He made a good point, even though he didn't want to admit it to himself. He was common. Suddenly, he didn't want to talk to himself, either.

"Well, I don't mean to keep you from your messages, I just didn't want you to leave thinking the worst of me."

Eve sighed. She'd overreacted again and she knew it. Castle had only been curious, had only wanted to know what it felt like. For a moment she'd been back in an interrogation with SFI, or one of those interminable testing sessions with Starfleet Science. Or when she'd

found out that Blake had seduced her, not because of a mutual attraction, but as part of a test to discover the range of her sexual responses.

He looked so crestfallen at the end of his apology, that she wanted to reach out and... what? hug him? She didn't know. And didn't want to think about it. Too dangerous a place to go. It would force her to face up to herself again. To face her feelings about Blake's betrayal, Ceece's leaving, her parents death, the anger and frustration over learning to move, walk, communicate all over again, to be a cybernetic freak. Just something else to force down into the little box in her mind where she kept all the things she didn't know how to deal with. And she knew she should.

She reached up and squeezed Castle's hand on her arm.

"No, I'm sorry," She replied. "You weren't to know how I felt about it. I overreacted, that's all; but after three months of being poked and prodded, both physically and mentally, you get a little terse." She released his hand. "If you still want to have dinner, I'll try to explain then."

Castle smiled broadly. "I've love to!" He said.

Eve nodded and smiled back. "Good. I'll see you in an hour in the conference room."

"I'll be counting the minutes." Said with his already familiar 'bad boy' smile.

Eve laughed despite herself and left, with a spring in her step, a lot more cheerful than she had been a minute ago. Life wasn't all research and science; she'd always given that priority over anything else, even her personal life.

Perhaps it was time for a change.