A Collaboration by Lt. Comm. Janice Hargen and Commander Epic Terrakian

<<Stardate: 47307.16- 22:40>>

<<Mess Hall Deck 10>>

Janice had watched the funeral service impassionately. She had never

attended a funeral before. She had refused to go to her "Mothers", she

had to board the Grail. Or at least that was her excuse. She had stood

perfectly still, waiting patiently for the services to end. The

stiffness of her dress uniform helped. Finally, the services ended, and

they all took turns paying their respects to the dead.

Janice approached the coffin. She had no idea how she would react to seeing her dead captain before her. She looked down... nothing. `I suppose most people aren't affected by seeing a person they had never met before.' She could not say that she had never seen him before. She had memorized his bio, as well as his picture on it. She just never had a chance to make use of it. She supposed she could delete it from her memory now.

After walking away from the coffin, she picked up a glass of red wine. She didn't much feel like drinking anything, but she figured that she could at least carry it around. She scanned the room. It was rather empty, considering that it was the captains funeral. But again, it was because he had sent Epic to do all his dirty work. `Curious.', she thought. `Lucky for Epic that it was he who got to meet us all. He's already prepared to be the captain... Interesting.'

Finally, she spotted Epic. He was in a corner of the room, nursing a glass of champagne. He seemed to be talking to Hunt, but then Hunt wandered away as if to perform some function that Epic had asked of him. She strode toward Epic, not exactly sure what she would say to him. She spotted Brennan and smiled at her as she walked past.

Finally, she caught Epics eyes as she approached. She held them for a moment, then drew her gaze back to the party. `Ridiculous to be having a party at a funeral. Not that anyone was mourning all that much...' She placed her drink on a table and walked up to him, stopping a mere foot from him.

"Commander.", she said formally, standing at attention. Then her voice softened, as well as her posture. "Epic, I am so sorry." She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug, startling him. "How are you taking it?", she smiled gently. Janice couldn't tell whether he would tell her whether he was upset. `Probably not. He seems too strong to just open up like that.'

Epic took a moment to regain his `center'. She had embraced him. Again. That was the second time he had felt the unselfish comfort that Janice seemed to easily offer. He wondered what it felt like for her. "As it happens...", he finally cleared his throat and spoke. "... the Captain had made me aware of his condition. I had anticipated it, however, not quite so soon. "

Janice nodded. "I basically decided that if anyone, you would have known the captain the best. No one I have spoken to has even met him. It makes things easier for you, doesn't it? You were in charge of meeting us all, so it puts you in the perfect position of commanding."

Epic nodded. "I think that was what he had in mind. He certainly did not anticipate surviving this mission, but he didn't want to spend the last of his turbulent career patrolling the Neutral Zone or wasting away in a Veterans Hospital. He died the way he lived. In the middle of the chaos." Epic realized with some small comfort that what he said was probably true, and not just rhetoric.

"See, there I go again, talking business. And we are off duty.", she laughed. Suddenly, she got serious, looking into his blue eyes and trying to convey her truthfulness. "I just want you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, that I am always around. I've always got a spare minute for the captain.", she teased, changing her attitude once again.

Epic held her gaze. Just like their dinner the other night, Epic could only read in her eyes what she might be thinking. He could feel nothing emotive from her. And it didn't matter. In fact, it was better. This way, he could feel what he wanted to feel about what she was saying. And he wanted to feel grateful. "Thank you, Janice. You may be surprised by my call. Be careful what you wish for." There was teasing in his tone also.

Suddenly, Janice realized what she was doing. `I'm was flirting with the `captain'!', she thought frantically. `I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I need to do a complete diagnostic once I get the warp engines up to par.' She blushed red, swallowing hard. She was sure Epic would be able to pick up on how embarrassed she was, even if he was not able to read her. `Just remember what happened the last time.', she thought, trying to get herself back in line.

"Well, Commander, ... uh ...Epic ...I should get back to Engineering..", she stumbled, flustered. Epics expression became concerned and he reached out and squeezed her arm gently.

Epic was mildly confused by Janice's ever-changing emotional responses. He smiled at her, realizing that she had gone from timid and shy, to strong and confident, then back again, in the space of a few moments. It was as if she was embarrassed by her own strength. And even though he could not perceive her on an emotional level, he was certain that she was being somewhat... flirtatious. And, even if she wasn't, Epic allowed himself to feel that she was. It pleased him to feel that way. But, now, she was undone. She had psyched herself into a mess.

"Janice...", Epic said her name to steady her, keeping a warm hand to her arm. "..I won't keep you, if you need to go, but please keep one thing in mind from now on..." She stopped shaking as he looked at her and her breathing slowed to normal.

Epic whispered the next part to insure that not even the amazing perceptions of Kyp Firespray could overhear. "I am probably the one person in the whole galaxy with whom you can be... truly... yourself. You don't ever have to pretend around me. I hope you can believe that.

And I hope that you will seek me out if YOU ever need to talk."

She didn't even breath for a moment. "And besides...", he teased. "I've always got a spare minute for the Chief Engineer."

Despite herself, she laughed. And Epic laughed, too.