<<NRPG: This post was supposed to be a joint one, but R'Laurent's leaving. I hope she forgives me for what I put her through here. Nothing like a little late-night angst, don't you think? :-) John, hope this is OK.>>


<<Personal Quarters>>

Useless. Absolutely useless.

Eve rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She knew she needed to get at least a few hours downtime, but she simply couldn't unwind enough.

Not that it would have made much difference if she could have. While there were advantages to her new form, she simply didn't need to sleep. She could enter a trance-like state that was similar to sleep, that she privately called 'Going off-line', but too often she was plagued by her childhood nightmare of falling out of the sky in the shuttle with her parents. And thanks to her new 'memory banks' she could recall every tiny detail of it now, right down to the feeling of the pieces of metal as they penetrated her young body.

She'd got through the accident, and the nightmare two weeks afterwards when everyone thought she was brain-dead, when it was the only part of her paralyzed body that did work. Lying there, screaming for help in her mind, unable to move or feel. If T'Lil had not come, she might have stayed there for longer. She could still hear his voice in her head for the first time, remember her grateful response.

She got past that. Became the best she could be in her field, despite her cybernetics. Then came the Alonzo and the voyage to follow V'jur trail back to the beings who had re-made it. The impact that almost ripped the ship apart. And waking up on board the Nova, to discover that 100 years had passed, and she had been remade, like Ilia had been, with no memories of what had happened or why she'd been sent back.

But that hadn't been all. Starfleet Intelligence might have let her go back to her old life, maybe. But the moment she'd 'heard' that Borg in her mind, she'd sealed her fate. It may have been an advantage to Starfleet to keep her around, but she knew that many saw her as a threat on a par with the Borg themselves. If she could talk to them, what guarantee was there that she wouldn't join them when the time came?

But she knew that wasn't a possibility. She'd realized after reading everything she could about the Borg during a break from one of the early Interrogations, that it simply wasn't their way. The Borg may be implacable, unrelenting, uncaring and unflinching, but subtlety was not in their makeup. There was no way the Borg would re-build her and send back, unless it was as a Borg, aboard a Borg Cube.

Which left the Machine Race. But why? That was a question Eve had asked herself in the long three months of questions, tests, and briefings. Why her? Why now? She'd come up with her own partial answer; To help the Federation against the Borg. The Machine Race traveled at Transwarp like the Borg, which meant that the ship that brought her back must have started out when the Enterprise first met them during that incident with Q. But that only brought her back to 'Why?'

Too many questions. And no answers. And that made Starfleet nervous. So she was sent to the Grail.

She gave up on trying to sleep and stood up, grabbing her uniform and putting it on. She looked at herself in the mirror and gave a snort of laughter. Starfleet Intelligence wanted her on the Grail as a Starfleet Officer. So a little hacking, and Lieutenant (jg) Eve Mallory was ready to go. She knew all the protocols, knew all the lessons that the Academy could teach, in theory, but she'd never set one foot on the Academy campus. She felt like a fraud.

The Borg would be arriving tomorrow. The Lab was ready, but it wouldn't hurt to check it out, download the programs for the Holographic Technician, check the security measures, make sure the right equipment was there.

But she didn't go straight there. She walked through the quiet dim corridors of the Grail, no purpose, just walking. She found herself outside Ten-Forward and was surprised to find it open. And even more surprised to see the familiar form of R'Laurent
standing by the huge window, staring out at Earth circling below them.

Eve walked over, intending to speak to her about the arrival tomorrow, when she noticed her superior's expression. Sad, hopeful, longing.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Hoping that the other woman wouldn't mind the interruption.

R'Laurent didn't answer at first. "Nothing. Everything." She said finally.

"Covers a lot of ground." Eve replied with a faint smile. She got an quick answering smile in return. "Is it because of Him?" They both knew who she was talking about.

"My uncle called an hour ago from Quo'nos. He has offered me command of a Bird of Prey."

Eve whistled. "Are you taking it?"

A tear slid down R'Laurent's cheek as she nodded.

"Have you told Him?"

"Not yet. I am going to tender my resignation to Starfleet and the Captain first."

*Cold.* Was Eve's first thought. But then she'd never understood the relationship between this woman and Epic Terrakian. She had difficulty knowing what other people
were thinking and feeling; how could she when she buried her own feelings half the time. But she knew their connection was deep, and often held as much hate as love. She wouldn't be in their shoes for anything in the galaxy.

But she'd give her soul for a relationship half that strong and sure.

She put her arm around the sobbing woman, giving what comfort she could. And together they watched the planet turn beneath them.