Subject: Grail:"They Were Expendable" - 'Memories, part one'

Main Bridge

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Janice left the ready room in a daze. *He knows!* It was the only thought that had run through her head during the end of the meeting. The bridge crew looked up at her, confused - she was as pale as a ghost. Stumbling into the turbolift, she managed to direct it towards her quarters before she collapsed on the ground, burying her head in her arms.

"Computer, pause turbolift," she sobbed. The steady hum of the turbolift slowed, then stopped all together. The flood of tears that rushed from her eyes finally broke the dam of emotions she had been holding in. Her one thought suddenly became millions. *How did he know? What did I do? What am I going to do??* She felt helpless, angry, confused, upset... but also a little free. Someone had discovered what she had been hiding throughout half her life, and now she didn't have to hide anymore. No more acting. No more pretending. No more lying. Just the truth - finally, just the truth. Well, at least with him.

Suddenly, she straightened her shoulders. *Get a hold of yourself, Janice! Sobbing on the turbolift floor is not an option. You didn't make it this far to just give up. Just think and you'll find a solution - you are smarter than this. You have to be - you are a machine.* That last thought almost made her collapse even farther into tears. Instead, somehow, she mustered up enough courage to stop her tears almost completely. Not for her father - she never knew him. Not for her mother - she never cared for her. But for her future. She had worked too hard, overcome too many obstacles to just have to lose everything like this. She swallowed wiping the tears from her eyes and took a shaky breath. She whispered, "Computer, resume." The lift broke back into its rhythmic humming, carrying her farther and farther away from the ready room. The feel of the turbolift moving helped to calm her - machinery always did. She felt the overbearing need to go to main engineering, to be completely surrounded by the throbbing vibrations of the warp core. It had always calmed her and helped her think before. But she knew that walking into main engineering now would only make her have to deal with work - getting everything up and running, and she wouldn't be given a chance to calm down. *Well, that's what Assistant Chief Engineers are for.* She turned her thoughts back towards the matter at hand.

*Okay, so rationalize this,* she ordered herself, slowly standing up. *First of all, what am I going to do? He knows that I am an android. He even knows that I know he knows,* she thought, managing a half smile at her repetitive logic. *I have two choices now - tell everyone what I am, or continue as I have been.* A sudden thought occurred to her, making her stomach churn nervously. *What if Commander Terrakian tells?? Now that is the most important thing to discover.* As the turbolift slowed and finally stopped, she addressed the computer once again.

"Computer send the following personal message to Commander Epic Terrakian." She cleared her throat before diving into her bold message.

"Commander Terrakian, I believe it would be of some interest to you and I both if we meet and talk. How is dinner tonight? If this time is convenient, please meet me in my quarters. I hope to hear from you." She paused. "Computer, end personal message and send." She stepped out of the turbolift and began walking to her quarters. *Well, that takes one problem out of the way. I can't do much else until I talk to him. Now I just need to get my mind off of it.* But she was built too much like a human to be able to get her mind off of it that easily. Stepping into her quarters, she flopped on the bed.

"Computer, inform me if any messages from Commander Terrakian are received." She closed her eyes, trying not to think about it, to think about anything else, but it was the only thing she could think about. Her mind floated away into the past...

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Starfleet Academy, San Francisco, Earth

Five Years Ago

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"Come on, Janice! You really do want to go. You said so yourself not two days ago!" a male voice called from the other room of the public area. Cadet Michael Stevens, Janice's best friend, was in the kitchen type section they had set up in the adjoining room. He had promised Janice that he would cook dinner tonight - Janice's stomach growled just thinking about it. Cadet Stevens was the best cook in the Academy, and could make a mouthwatering three course meal out of just about anything.

"I said I *wanted* to, not that I *would* go!" she called back,frustrated, but laughing at the same time. No one could really get mad at Mike. You tried as hard as you could, but somehow, his carefree, happy demeanor always won you over in the end.

He stepped back into the room, his casual clothes stained with a red sauce and wielding a wooden spoon. Mike was tall, almost 183 centimeters on a good day, one of his favorite sayings. His blue eyes sparkled with glee as he examined his friend's attempt at an angry expression - he was perfectly aware that she couldn't be mad at him for long - no matter what he did. He ran a floury hand through his straight brown hair, adding several streaks of white.

Janice giggled. "You don't have to stress about it *that* much, Mike! You're turning gray already!" He looked confused until he glanced in the mirror, a grin forming on his face.

"See what you did to me?" he accused her, laughing and waving the sauce covered spoon at her. "Now you have to come, out of remorse for what you did." Janice rolled her eyes.

"I'm not getting out of this, am I? Not even if I plead a Stellar Cartography Exam tomorrow?" she groaned.

"Nope - not even that." He suddenly got very serious and knelt beside the couch she was sprawled across. "Janice, please? It means a lot to me to have you there. I have a feeling that this will be a trip we will never forget."

Janice looked into his eyes, searching for a hint of sarcasm. There was none. "Okay, if it means that much to you..." she began. He jumped up and gave her a bear hug before she could finish.

"You are the best!" he exclaimed happily. She grunted, not able to breathe. "Oh, sorry. I suppose I want you to live 'till your test, huh?" She groaned, and flopped back onto the couch. "Aw, you'll do fine. You are the smartest person in that class. You always manage to get perfect scores anyhow."

"Mike, you do know that with the amount of demerits I have already, getting caught in one more stunt could get me kicked out of the Academy? For good?" she asked seriously.

"So we'll just have to make sure you don't get caught. Now, the plan this time is to fly over to Harper's and pick up some party supplies for when the semester is over..." he began, plotting.

"Harper's?? Do you know what kind of flight control it'll take to get over to there unnoticed??" she interrupted, almost shouting.

"The same as always. And that's why you are flying," he stated simply, with complete trust in her abilities.

She groaned, burying her head in the pillow. "This is sounding worse and worse!"

"Janice, I wouldn't trust my life to anyone but you - including myself." She lifted her head to gauge the truth in the statement in his face. Again, it was all truth.

"Does it really mean that much to you?" she asked doubtfully.

"Yes."

"Okay, then. For you." She was rewarded with yet another bear hug that completely squeezed the breath out of her.

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Just outside Starfleet Academy, San Francisco, Earth

The next day (five years ago)

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The air whipped by her as she carefully piloted across the ravines. They had opted for a small, open land/air vehicle, tenderly referred to as a land skimmer, less tenderly referred to as 'death.' It operated through an antigrav unit which propelled the skimmer up or down, according to the need, as well as a small fusion reactor to propel them forward and back. Just a little creation Mike and Janice had worked up to escape from the Academy every now and then. It was extremely dangerous to ride, however, as it rode just above the surface of the ground; any quick change in elevation meant a terrible spill, especially at the speeds it was needed to ride them in order to escape detection.

They had been riding for close to an hour now, Janice in front, steering the death machine, and Mike behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist for support. Her arms were tense and exhausted from the precise course changes she had to continually make to keep them from a spill. She kept blinking her eyes, trying to keep them focused on the path ahead. An hour of staring at the ground was enough to make anyone's eyes water. Mike suddenly motioned towards the left, indicating that he wanted her to take the path's left branch. Janice shook her head. They had always taken the right branch. She didn't even know where the left one led. She could feel Mike squeezing her waist in frustration. Again he motioned left. She sighed. *He can be so stubborn.* She gently pushed the handles to the left, and the skimmer easily slid onto the other section of battered road.

All of Janice's senses went into overdrive, becoming as alert as she possibly could. She tried to find the best course to take - it was extremely difficult. They had to keep moving at an insane velocity to keep out of sight, but she also didn't know where the smoothest path was to keep the skimmer's fragile balance. She grit her teeth and concentrated on the road. She could feel Mike's anticipation as he squeezed her waist again, his heart beating wildly against her back.

The beautiful scenery whipped by her, unnoticed. Her whole world was the path, and the smoothest course. The skimmer shook as it rode over the rocky ground. Janice shook her head. *We shouldn't be here. This path is too unused.* She started to get a funny feeling about this...

Suddenly, her eyes caught an obstruction ahead. A huge rock jutting into the path, recently fallen from the cliffs above. Mike yelled out, surprised, his words lost in the wild wind. They approached it rapidly - too rapidly to avoid it. She reflexively swerved to the left, just barely missing the rock, but heading directly towards a clump of trees. They weren't slowing down fast enough - their initial speed was too great for the skimmer to be able to stop in time. Janice felt Mike squeeze her waist tightly before they collided.

{OOC: I am still experiencing technical problems, so if you notice that I did not include anyone in this posting, please tell me... otherwise, I will just use this list... thanks!}