Subject: Grail: "They Were Expendable"-'Memories, part two'

Outside of San Francisco, Earth

Five Years Ago (after the accident)

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Blackness... the whole world was dark. Janice was floating in a black void of nothingness. She could remember nothing of what brought her here, nothing of how to escape. No past. No present. No future. All she knew was here, and nothing was here. She floated past the void, through the void, out of the void. Everything was nothing - nothing was everything. She searched for a memory to latch onto - and felt Mike's arms wrapped around her waist. Suddenly, everything flew back to her in a rush of hot agony. She screamed.

She was lying in a ditch, her own scream echoing in her ears. Her left arm was wrapped painfully behind her back. The acrid smell of smoking metal filled her nose - she resisted the urge to gag. She was facing the sky - she could see the blue clouds float by serenely. Hot pain laced up her left arm as she tried to move it. She swallowed thickly, testing each of her limbs. Left arm, pain. Left leg, fine. Right leg, fine. Right arm... nonexistent? She could not feel her right arm. She took that as a bad sign. Suddenly, one thought rushed to the top of her head. Mike. She licked her chapped lips and opened her mouth to call for him.

"Mike?" she croaked, straining her ears for a reply - any reply. Silence.

"Mikey?" Nothing. "Michael, answer me, please.." she pleaded with the silence. Still nothing. Slowly, she turned her neck to view her surroundings.

The skimmer had been completely destroyed. It was a total wreck - no amount of time nor work by them could ever repair it. Half of it was wrapped around an old sycamore tree about 15 meters away. But no Mike. She turned her head in the other direction. Scattered pieces of machinery... and something that looked like a piece of a cadet's uniform. Her heart jumped. "Mike?!" she yelled. Nothing.

She struggled to rise, the pain in her left arm unbearable. She cried out, tears springing to her eyes. Her right arm was giving her no trouble... and suddenly the reason became clear. Her heart stopped; her throat caught; her stomach froze. The piece of uniform beside her was her own. Her own arm. She screamed, horrified. She couldn't resist the morbid urge to look down at her stump - to view her life's blood gushing out. Her eyes slowly turned downwards to see... circuits. Electrical circuits protruding from her arm, still sizzling. She screamed until her voice went hoarse.

"Janice?" a soft voice called. Somehow, she heard it through her screams, through her own haze of horror. She quickly quieted down, and listened for her name again. She couldn't describe the thoughts that were going through her head before - now just one encompassed her mind. *Mike.*

"Janie? Are you there?" the voice called weakly, frightened. She managed to control her voice enough to call back his name.

"Where are you - I can't see a thing. Is it dark already?" Suddenly, Janice's heart stopped. She looked back up at the beautiful day's clouds, the blue sky. The sky Mike may never see again.

"Yes, Mike. Dark as night," she replied. It was dark. There was no light in her heart, and so it truly was dark to her. "Keep talking. I'll find you."

"Janice, we crashed. I think I'm hurt. Badly. I don't know. I wish it weren't so dark. Be careful - you may trip. Janice, I'm sorry. I should have asked you before anything. Are you okay?" he asked suddenly, his voice filled with concern.

She debated on telling the truth - for an instant. *He doesn't need that. Not now.* "I'm okay, Mike. I've been better though." She could barely keep her voice from shaking in horror. She had to block it out of her mind - Mike had to be foremost in her thoughts.

"I'm glad. I don't know what I'd do if you were seriously hurt. Are you any closer? Maybe we should wait until morning." Janice could hear that he was straining to speak - to continue the one-sided conversation. But every step filled her with agony - every step was torture.

"No, I'm much closer, Mike. Just keep talking-" Her voice caught in her throat as she spotted him. He was sprawled across the ground, both his legs caught under the wreckage that used to be the skimmer. His neck... Janice swallowed thickly. His neck was twisted at an odd angle - almost certainly broken. And his face was all scratched up and bleeding. Janice had to stop herself from breaking into uncontrollable sobbing at first sight of him. She knelt beside him, her legs screaming in protest, her left arm throbbing with pain. Tears filled her eyes, not with pain, but at the sight Mike's own blue eyes, dull and lifeless now, unable to perform their natural function.

"Janice? Are you still here?" he asked, scared. She stifled a sob when she nodded and realized that he couldn't see it.

"I'm here, Mike. Right next to you." She strained to keep her voice from shaking - she didn't want him to have to worry about her. She took his hand in her left arm; she was trembling. "I wish we had never come here," she whispered, staring down at her best friend, and trying to keep the memory of her severed arm out of her mind.

"Don't say that." The words came so clear that Janice started.

"Why not?" she asked. "Look what happened." Tears sprang to her eyes. "Neither of us will ever be the same afterwards. "

"Because I brought you here to tell you that I love you." It was stated so simply, so concisely that she knew immediately that it was the absolute truth. She stopped, astonished, all other thoughts rushing from her mind. He continued, undaunted. "Not exactly the way I planned to tell you, but sometimes life is like that." He paused, waiting for a reaction, anything. "Janice? I can't see you. Tell me what you are thinking."

She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out. All she could manage to do was squeeze his hand. She felt like she was going to explode - so much had happened within the past few minutes, so much her head was spinning. She couldn't tell if she was dreaming or not.

"Janice?" he asked, concerned now.

"I think I need to lie down for a bit, Mike. I don't feel so well.." she murmured, lying down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. She just needed to lie down, to stop thinking and she would be fine. She was conscious enough to be careful not to let her right side go anywhere near him, though. He frowned when he heard her words, then feeling her lay beside him, he carefully extended his arm around her, comforting her.

"Janie. Are you okay?" he whispered into her ear. She was everything to him, her well-being was the most important thing in his life.

She searched herself, trying to find a meaning for okay. She was anything but okay. She had just been confronted with life altering news. How could she possibly be okay? She just nodded her head and curled up next to him, carefully as not to hurt him.

She didn't know how long she lay there, next to Mike's comforting presence. She must have dozed off once or twice, though, because it was dark. She blinked, trying to refocus on what happened, instantly regretting that she did. She craned her neck to look over at Mike. He was sleeping peacefully beside her. Out of worry, she checked his pulse... not too strong, but steady. She contented herself with the fact that he should be okay for now, then slowly sat up.

She was tempted to just bury her head in her arm and cry. She just didn't know what to do anymore - she was so confused. As the tears began trickling down her face, she heard a sound in the distance. A low, rumbling sound, getting steadily louder. Her head perked up as she attempted to place the sound. It sounded almost mechanical. *Someone's coming.* For some reason, she knew it for certain. Her first thought was of rescue, but she began thinking of her appearance. Her next thought was to hide and see who it was. She stood up slowly, almost loosing her balance with her dizziness, then stumbled over to the nearest tree that could hide her.

The sound came all the way down the path, slowly and cautiously. It slowed, then finally stopped. Janice peeked her head out from behind the tree long enough to see a man walk slowly over to the tree with the crashed skimmer on it. He knelt before it, not even noticing Mike, hidden behind the other half of the skimmer. Janice could hear him murmuring something she strained her ears to listen...

"Oh God, no. Please no. Not her, too. Don't take her away from me, too..."

Janice recognized that voice all too well. She stepped out from behind the tree, completely making herself visible. "Doctor Reginald Mandan. How did I know you would have something to do with this?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

He looked up, shock registering across his face - even more when he saw her disheveled appearance. He swallowed. "So you know."

She took a shaky breath, trying to keep herself from crying. "Know what?" she asked, but she already knew the answer. She just needed someone to ...verify it for her.

"That you are an android. Just like Kaya, my daughter." He stated it simply and to the point - like a true scientist. But Janice was not a scientist, and the words cut her through to the heart. She staggered, trying to comprehend what he had just said. He jumped to her, trying to help support her, but she just pushed him away.

"I don't need your help. This is where your help got me." Her entire world had just crumbled. She had just been told her life had been a complete lie. Everything that she had known, had taken for granted, was wrong. She didn't know how to take something like that. So she lashed out at those who did know, who must have known. Mandan and her mother. The two that had conspired against her as a child. From that moment, any emotions she did have for either of them were wiped out. Only hatred was left in their place.

Mandan swallowed. He knew that, in that one instant, he had lost all hope of ever taking her as his daughter. He cursed his inability to communicate better. Perhaps, by some small chance, though, he still had the possibility of being her friend...

"I can repair you here if you still have -" he swallowed again, "your arm. Otherwise, I will have to return home to retrieve another one..."

Janice could barely understand what he was saying, she was so in shock. She nodded dumbly, trying to grasp the enormity of her situation, but failing miserably each time. She watched, detached, as he walked over and retrieved her severed arm, carefully examining it to assess the extent of its damage. She pulled her eyes away, unable to even look at it. Her head was spinning. She couldn't watch as he removed his tools and repaired the arm, then finally reattached it. She cringed away from the hated thing. The entire time, he talked on and on about how this wasn't to affect her education at all. He had planned everything for her, so no one need ever know. She tuned him in and out, depending on what she could handle.

"That should about do it. Even your best friend wouldn't know the difference," Mandan muttered, pleased with his handiwork.

Janice jumped. *Her best friend...Mike!* She stood up, a little too quickly. Her arm had been repaired, but she was not even close to being completely healed. She blinked, trying to clear her vision. Pushing Mandan's supporting arm away, she staggered over to where she had left Mike, several hours ago. Mandan followed her, cautiously.

She knelt beside her friend, frantically feeling for a pulse it was there. Weaker than before, but still there. She breathed a sigh of relief, then sat down beside him. Looking up at Mandan, she spoke to him for the first time since her harsh words towards him. "Please help him," she whispered.

His eyes opened wide when he finally realized how injured he was. "Janice, he requires extreme medical attention. I have to go get help." He stood, torn between finishing his daughter's repairs and helping the boy stuck underneath the equipment. Finally, Janice pushed him in the direction of the road with one word.

"Please."

Mandan loved her. He was willing to do anything she asked. With a quick nod, he left the trees, leaving Janice alone to cry with her best friend.

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USS Grail

Present

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[Personal message received from Commander Epic Terrakian]

Janice awoke, tears in her eyes. She cleared her throat, trying to get a hold of herself. "Computer, play message."

[Commander Hargen. I will meet you at 19:00. See you then.]

Janice blinked at the brevity of the message. *Well, short and to the point, I guess.* She almost asked the computer for the time, out of habit. Instead, she checked her internal chronometer. *I've got about an hour enough time to run down to engineering and make sure the ACEO knows about the meeting. And time enough to calm myself down there as well.* She stood, brushing her long, curly hair back - it had gotten tangled as she slept. Squaring her shoulders, she left her quarters, feeling better that she finally had a plan.