Outside Main Engineering

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Janice waited until Kaitlyn entered the turbolift and the doors closed behind her before she turned back to Main Engineering. *I don't have to sleep. I'll pull an all-nighter and finish off the work, and be done by the meeting. Just alter my bio programming to read as if I got sleep, then I'll be fine... My compensation to Kaitlyn for not showing up to help until late....* She marched back into Main Engineering and surveyed the three officers left. She quickly got their attention and brought them together in a small group.

"Hello, I am Lieutenant Commander Janice Hargen, the Chief Engineer. We need to finish up this check on the engineering systems tonight. She reviewed the padd she held in her hand, cursing the fact that she didn't have the other half of the report - Brennan did. She sighed. Accessing her memory banks, she pulled up everything she saw of it. *Just hope I didn't miss anything... photographic memories are useless unless you see them...*

"Okay, we have the shuttle bays to examine, the holodecks, and a level 4 diagnostic to run on the navigational array - requiring a spacewalk," she began, stopping when she heard the muffled groans in the background. She smiled, not even trying to hide the grin that came to her face.

"Don't worry, we did most of the actual work in the last two shifts. This shouldn't be too hard, even if there are only four of us." She made sure to emphasize that she would be helping, drawing grateful glances from the crew. She smiled warmly at the crew. *Quite a good first impression, if I do say so myself. If they work well with me now, then they'll trust me when things get bad later... and I need their absolute trust.*

She tossed the padd on the table before them. "Well, tell me what you are each best at." Of course, Janice had memorized each personnel file before she even arrived, but she was curious at what they would say.

Silence filled the room. No one knew how to deal with such a commanding style. Most other chiefs would just assign positions. But that wasn't Janice's style. She wanted to know who was best at what so when the critical time came, she would know just who to send where.

Finally, a girl spoke up, hesitantly. "Well, I do tend to like spacewalks... I always managed to handle them better than most..." Janice smiled warmly at her, telling her in that smile that she had done the right thing by speaking up.

"Well, then, that can be your job. I'm glad you said that, actually, since we tried to get that done before, but the girl assigned to it had some problems with it. I don't want to lose any of you due to a silly accident because you didn't speak up. You know where the suits are?"

When the girl nodded, Janice smiled and handed her a padd. "Good. Here's a padd... if you need any help, don't hesitate to call us up, okay? Dismissed." The girl took the padd, then happily left engineering.

"Okay, that leaves 3 of us to do the shuttlebays and the holodeck..." She sighed, checking her internal chronometer... they had about half of Alpha shift to get through one of the longest jobs, besides the warp core, and the holodecks. *Looks like I'll be getting my part of the report done during the meeting!*

"Well, how about you two start with the holodecks, then meet up with me in the shuttlebays. Sound good?" The two men started, not being used to being asked their opinion on something like this. They nodded. She handed each of them a padd, then sent them off to the holodecks. She quickly checked if Ops had finished with the scans Brennan had assigned them, smiling happily when they were, and downloaded them to yet another padd. *I'll have to thank her for that one!*

Grabbing an additional couple padds for herself, she set off to Main Shuttlebay. Entering the turbolift, she said, "Computer, deck 5." She waited patiently for the turbolift to arrive, not allowing her mind to wander back to what had happened only a few short hours before. When the turbolift finally stopped, she marched in Main Shuttlebay, relieved to have something to occupy her mind. But the work was too easy - too methodical. Her android mind could easily handle it - allowing her to daydream. But instead of her mind drifting back to earlier this evening, it goes farther, much farther back into the past....

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San Francisco Hospital, Earth

(Five Years Ago)

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Janice paced the hallways back and forth. The last day had been a nightmare. Help had finally arrived - but barely in time. Mike had slipped into a deep sleep - so deep that Janice feared he would never awake. She had cried too much to be able to cry now. She had been pacing this hallway back and forth for the past five hours - ever since Mike went into surgery. She had even refused to let Mandan complete his repairs. She was just too worried to sit still. And she still had yet to hear from the Academy to tell her that this was the last stunt that she would pull - they were kicking her out.

Finally, a doctor exited the operating room and approached her.

"Are you the family of Mr. Michael Stevens?"

"Yes, I am his sister," Janice lied. She knew that they wouldn't give her any useful information if she wasn't family.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you..." the doctor began. Janice gasped, and grabbed for the chair to steady herself.

"We were able to repair the damage done to his legs, but I fear that he will never walk again." The news struck Janice like a shot - she collapsed into the chair. She couldn't comprehend the words that he had uttered. The doctor knelt beside her, concerned. Finally, the doctor decided to continue, giving her all the bad news at once.

"His back was broken in several places - he is paralyzed from the waist down. And as for his sight..." Even through the several years he had been giving out bad news to family members, he hesitated. The girl looked so grieved, it pained his conscience to continue.

"We doubt he will ever see again." The doctor kept his eyes on the girl's face, waiting for a sob, then for her to break down into tears. But she did neither - she sat there and stared into space for what seemed like an eternity.

"Ma'am?" he asked carefully, afraid to break her out of the state of shock she was in. She quickly snapped out of the daze she was in and started.

"May I see him?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Normally, the doctor would not allow anyone to see a patient this soon out of surgery... but something in his heart told him to let her go. Maybe because she looked so terribly pained by the news. He shrugged, and decided he was getting soft in his old age.

"Follow me... but don't tell anyone I let you go..." he added with a smile, but it was wasted on Janice. She was too far into shock - she couldn't even cry. She mindlessly followed him through the maze of corridors into a large recovery room. He led her to a biobed in the corner of the room and left her there, after giving her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder.

Janice stared at the man on the biobed. He was in a restraining field, to prevent him from hurting himself any more than he already was. He looked okay... besides the bandage over his eyes. She couldn't tell if he was awake or not, though most probably he not. Her emotions were in turmoil. She couldn't bear to see him like this. She gently took his hand and held it, trying to keep him company while he slept. She didn't feel anything more for him than as a sister to a brother, which hurt her more than she was willing to admit. But she couldn't even think about feeling more than that to him. Not after what she had done to him...

She knew that Mike would not blame her for what had happened. He would take it as something life had given him and move on cheerfully - as always. But *she* blamed herself. She was the one steering the skimmer. She was the one who allowed him to take her off course. She was the one who didn't know how to help him when he needed it most. She was the one that was too absorbed in her own problems to realize that Mandan could have helped him sooner. And she was the one who had been living a lie her entire life - that had been lying to him. She could never forgive herself for that.

She would be here when he awoke. She would give him all the support he would ever need... but she would never allow someone to care for her the way he did. It caused too much pain. And especially since they could or would never know the truth. Janice swore this to herself as she held his hand and waited for him to wake up to his new, horrible life.

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USS Grail - Cargo Bay 2

(Present Day)

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Janice wiped the tear away that had slipped down her face as she worked. The two engineers that she sent to the holodecks finally returned - each with their own stack of padds. She managed a smile, trying to get control of herself. *It has been a long day...*

"Good work, you two. Now if you can just help me finish this up, we'll be all done. And just in the nick of time, too, because this report is due in 45 minutes." The two officers exchanged surprised glances.

"Sir, you mean you finished every other shuttlebay on the ship in the time that we did the holodecks? But that's impossible!"

Janice smiled. "Of course it isn't impossible - you just have to know where to look for everything. Come on, let's just get this done with." They shrugged, and set to work, after being directed by Janice where to go. *Thank goodness I got them off that topic quickly!*

Just as they finished with the final touches on the shuttlebay, Janice was greeted by the Ensign in charge of ding the check on the navigational array. Her face was flushed with excitement.

"All finished, sir," she stated simply, handing her the padd with the information.

"Good job, Ensign. All of you, you all did wonderfully. I'll be off to the staff meeting now, so you can all get back to engineering, but I did want to congratulate you on a job well done. I'm glad to be working with you." Janice grabbed the pile of padds, eleven in all, and left Cargo Bay 2, heading for the meeting.