Subject: Grail: "Unexplored Spaces" - "To be or not to be..."

<Stardate 47307.23- 12:50>

<SickBay>

Oku pressed the bell for Dr. Ramius's office and looked through the

glass to see if the Dr. was willing to let him in.

William opened his mouth to say 'Come,", but Oku's face at the window

caught his eye and William peered at him, a curious grin on his face.

"Come in," he said at the same time he waved his hand to Oku in

invitation.

Oku entered the small office and sat down.=20

"Hello, Doctor. How are you feeling?" said Ramius, "What's on your

mind?"

"I am fine now, Dr. I believe I can be working here at the BioLab

station. I don't wanna be there at the bed doing nothing. Please assign

me something. If not, I won't make another day as a patient"

"I can appreciate your need to feel productive. I've been through it

myself a few times. However," and at this William leaned forward, his

elbows on his desk. "You are infected with a terminal virus. Until we

get to Kerestia and find a way to combat the virus, both Starfleet

policy and my own policies dictate that you remain off duty and have

nothing to do with research or treatment within Sickbay. You are still

relieved of duty." Oku cast his eyes down momentarily, but William

continued. "But what I can do, Doctor, is this. While you are infected

with the virus, you have proven that you are ambulatory, so I could

release you, with the condition that you are isolated in your quarters,

and that a class 4 biological field be erected around your quarters,

just in case. You have access to all of the information we have, so. .

." William just let his sentence trail out, and gave the younger doctor

a conspiratory wink.

Oku thanked the doc for his time, although he was sad for having to be

isolated, and left the office happily. He had to adapt everything in his

quarters to continue working on the bacteria, but he was still relieved

from duty, so before he left sickbay he looked at Dr. Ramius, who looked

Oku in response. Oku gestured in mute voice with hands and mouth "Put me

on duty, please"

William knew the look that he was getting from Ramin. He shook his head

no. "In due time, Doctor Ramin, in due time."

Oku left SickBay to his quarters.=20

<Deck 13, Ramin's quarters>

<One hour later>

Oku was dressing himself after the shower he took. He put on his blue

shirt before he put his gray and black uniform, looking himself at the

mirror, watching also his two little golden circles, one full and one=20

hollow, when he saw someone behind him. The man was tall, white-bearded

and white-dressed. Oku rushed to the hand sink and washed his face. Then

the man was gone.

Oku realized he was breathing rapidly and his pulse going really fast.

He wanted that to finish. He knew the old man in his dreams was maybe

Dosha or one of his angels, but this one, the one he saw awake, had

something that was not right, but he didn't know what it was.He decided

to hear some classical music.

"Computer, please play musical record from Earth, Beatles, Strawberry

Fields Forever"

"Record found. Now playing"

And the quite strange song started to sound. Then he went to the panel

at the desk and pressed a button. He didn't care about his illness

anymore, nor his inability to leave his quarters.

"Computer, please list anyone documented as counselor"

The list showed Dr. Mirka Tzavaras's name.

=3D/\=3D" Dr. Ramin to Dr. Tzavaras, please come in"

=3D/\=3D" ..Yes, Tzavaras here.

=3D/\=3D "I'd like to talk to you, please. The sooner the better. But I

have an impass: I have been infected with a virus and can't leave my

quarters."

=3D/\=3D "...We can link our quarters' screens and talk, let's say in an

hour?"

=3D/\=3D "Fine. I'll link with you in an hour. Ramin out"

Oku then finished dressing, relieved to know that someone was about to

hear him.=20

"Computer, set a biological containment field level 4 around this

quarters, authorization code Ramin upsilon two sharky"

Chirrs and whirls after, the computer replied "Field established"

Then Oku sat down, waiting for the counseling. He started to access some

medical databases. The Earth's four-hundred-year-old MedLine, expanded

to the whole Federation, along with the Vulcan T'but and the Klingon

Gok'a databases were part of the data that Oku had in his monitor.

<One hour later>

"Computer, establish an internal link to Dr. Tzavaras's quarters,

private frequency, authorization Ramin upsilon two sharky"

"Link established"

The screen at Oku's desk displayed the Federation sign in black

background with the words "private link established" and "waiting for

reply". Then Dr. Tzavaras's face appeared at the screen.

<Some minutes later>

"Well" Oku started, as he leaned back onto his chair "I think I have

hallucinations"

Mirka looked at the Thairian, that was an eager patient if she ever saw

one. She wasn't even sure she should have met the man. From what she

heard he had contracted the infamous Romulan virus. Anyway he was an

officer of experience, and a doctor, he knew better than she what could

and could not be done.

"What kind of hallucinations?" she asked

"Let me tell you..." replied Oku, as he started to tell the counselor

all of his dreams and experiences. Then he told the doctor about the

last few visions of the old man that didn't let him be. =20

The Thairian was her first official patient. She still had trouble with

the idea of people asking her to fix their problems. She didn't believe

someone could do that for another person and she had the feeling=20

that was what Oku Ramin wanted.

"Well doctor, those people you're seeing seemed to have been benefict

to you the first time around. Now hallucinations, if what you're

experiencing is really that, are products of our subcouncsious and they

oftenly happen because it's trying to tell us something. Until you know

what your 'visions' are about there's not much you can do. To find out

what they mean you will have to explore them a little more without being

obsessed with them. =20

"I'm sorry that I can't offer you an immediate cure but psychology is a

slow process. For years now your life has been base on hatred an

suddenly those strong feelings you felt disapeared or are being=20

replaced. That's a lot of changes your subcounscious has to get use to

it. Have you considered that those things you're saying might not be

halluciantions? So, as you can see doctor it could be many things. The

first step in finding out what it is, is reaching into yourself and

finding out if there is anything else your subcounscious is trying to

tell you. If you want to make an inner journey I can help you and we

can set up counseling on a regular base. The choice is yours."

"I'd be delighted, counselor; as soon as this confinement ends, I'll be

contacting you to start a regular counseling. Thanks for hearing and

advicing me. Until next time."

<Half an hour later>

Oku was sitting at his desk, listening to Thairian "Mankii blues", a

music style similar to Earth's South American Indian music. The

performer was Balta Sungar, from Juressia, Thairia. Oku liked Sungar. He

liked her music and he liked her. She was his first love at the age of

14. But her gift in music separated them: three years later she went

away to the Thairian Conservatory at Sirius II, and Oku was applying for

Medical School at Io (Sol V C). They have never seen each other again

ever since. When he heard again from her, was through her first record,

two years ago, at the prison.

The microbiology abstracts displayed at Oku's screen lost importance.

The music also lost importance. Oku was submerged into his deep

thoughts. He didn't know if that was a problem or not, but he was, just

that.

He was thinking about exploring himself. He has gone through past life

regressions, psychoanalysis, Gestalt, Vulcan mind fusion, everything. He

thought he knew himself better than anyone, but that was not true. He

recalled one of the vision's sayings: "The ways of the mind are

misterious" or something similar. The exact words didn't matter but the

meaning was clear: MIND =3D NEVER UNDERSTAND IT.

He did need help.=20

Oku "woke up" from his daydream and returned to study.

Joint post by:

Dr. William Ramius

Dr. Oku Ramin

Dr. Mirka Tzavaras