Subject: USS Grail: 'Unexplored Spaces' - Sisters Under The Skin II:
Waiting & Arrival
USS Grail: 'Unexplored Spaces' - Sisters Under The Skin II:
Waiting & Arrival
By Lt.(jg) Eve Mallory & Lt. Comm. Janice Hargen
OOC: A word of explanation before we start. This whole saga
is turning into a monster before our eyes here. It started out
as a simple chat between Eve Mallory and Janice Hargen, and
has grown into a multi-chapter epic! (no pun intended). It was
also intended to take place in 'Unexplored Spaces', and it
still is. All that means is that you'll be travelling back in time for
these posts.
We (most likely me -- at least for the Eve chapters) will be posting
1 chapter a day; this is today's. So, fasten your seatbelts, and
hang on. I hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed
writing it...
<<Stardate: 47307.20- 19:30>>
Location: Personal Quarters (Hargen & Mallory)
Eve stared the the scrolling data as it flowed down the screen.
Having Janice say she was an android and actually reading
details was a whole different experience.
As she read, the scientist in her was excited, unable to believe
the level of sophistication that Janice Hargen represented. She
wanted to get her into a lab, run tests, ask questions, take her
apart for further investigation...
She stopped that line of thought abruptly with a sudden
realization. If she did that, she was no different from the team
who'd poked and prodded her back on Earth. She wouldn't
put anyone through that, not now, not ever. Janice Hargen
had kept her status a secret for years because she didn't want
to go through that, had seen what it had done to her 'sister.'
But she'd also never told anyone till now. For a long moment
Eve wondered how lonely that must have been. Never letting
anyone get too close in case they discovered the truth, never
allowing herself to fall in love...
Eve shook her head, clearing the thoughts away. She was
going to have to be supportive tonight; Janice had spent
years keeping her secret, and now she was going to let all
that out, bring someone into her life, knowing that it could
be a terrible risk. She must be terrified.
And there was another difference between them. Janice wasn't
afraid to be emotional, wasn't afraid to feel. Eve knew herself,
knew she wasn't like that. Ever since she'd woken up in that
Dublin hospital, to a situation that was worse than any
nightmare she'd ever had. Unable to move, unable to speak,
only to hear, she'd listened to the conversations going on
around her. And discovered that her parents were dead, that
the doctors believed she was all but brain-dead, that no
matter how hard she tried, there was no way she could tell
them otherwise. Most people, she knew, might have given
up, fallen into the dark pit of madness. But she hadn't. She
clung to sanity by a thin thread, blocking off all feelings and
emotions, keeping herself aware by sheer force of will. Then,
a week later, Toril had mind-melded with her, and her relieved
response almost knocked him out.
After that she'd needed that self-taught discipline to get
her through the operations and the treatments, needed it
to counter the frustration, the despair and the realisation that
even though she might walk, talk and be something or
someone, she would be a freak to anyone who saw her.
The result? Someone who thought, rather than felt. Sometimes
she did feel, did allow herself that freedom to fall in love or
make friends. But opening up and staying that open, was hard,
and always ended in pain, when she fell back into old habits
and became remote and distant but still with the friendly facade
she always maintained. She knew that if she'd asked, if she hadn't
buried herself in work relating to V'Jur, Ceece would have
stayed.
But that was old history. Very old. This time, she was going
to allow herself to feel, to help someone who had kept herself
apart for a reason. But it was going to be hard, she knew that.
And she was such a mass of insecurities herself that she didn't
know what to do about it; Blakes's betrayal was still too fresh.
But she had friends now. Janice Hargen and Logan Castle would
be there for her, and she would have to be there for them, if
they needed her. She just hoped she could do it. She wanted to
do it.
Janice was the simple one though. It was Logan Castle that
was going to be hard. She felt something for him, felt comfortable
with him; saw their fragile relationship becoming something
stronger. And she wanted that. Which was both terrifying and
exilarating.
But Logan was for later. Now, it was time for Janice. Eve picked
up the chip that the other woman had given her, and one of her
own. Her considerably complicated situation needed props to
explain.
She left her quarters, and made her way to the turbo-lift. She had
dressed in clothes similar to those she'd worn for her date
with Logan, she realised, and found herself smiling as she
remembered their brief date.
It didn't take her long to get to Janice's quarters, and she rang
the doorchime.
--------
Janice paced back and forth in her quarters, abruptly sitting down
for a moment, stop the constant movement that was only making
her more nervous. She realized that she was all nerves and stood
up again, for the thirty-seventh time in the past ten minutes. She
just couldn't sit still - she had too much energy, too much to think
about. She didn't know what she would say when she came in...
what she would think.
It was the actual telling her that was driving her nuts. She had
spent her entire life keeping herself from telling... pulling herself
back from the edge so many times... making sure that she never
got close enough to anyone so that she would be tempted to tell.
And although she had conditioned herself so hard not to say a
word, having to cut so many ties with so many people who she
cared about... so many close friends... She swallowed hard,
remembering each of them.. her friends from the Academy, her
friends from the USS Rouget... everyone who ever tried to get
close to her. And Mike. She could never forget Mike. She didn't
want to.
But now, all of a sudden, it was okay. It was okay to tell Eve...
everything. She didn't know if she could handle that. Just being
open... too much time controlling herself, making sure that she
kept her mouth shut... it would be hard to just ignore all that
conditioning. Her heart thumped rapidly just thinking about it.
Janice took a deep breath in a pitiful attempt to calm herself. She was
so high-strung at the moment, not even a sedative could bring her
down... not that it would affect her much. Something her "father" had
never been able to discover - the humanoids behavior to certain
chemicals. The best she could do was to determine the chemicals in the
substance and her body would mimic a humanoids behavior. But that
function was easily turned off if she wanted it to be. She wished she
had known that her first year in the Academy.. all those hangovers she
didn't have to experience...
She shrugged. That time in her life was over now. That careless, free,
happy time. It was long gone, lost in that one day, that one minute...
one second had changed her life forever. She shuddered as she reviewed
the scene again in her head. She tried for a moment to wipe the vision
from her mind, to save herself the agony of reliving those few weeks
again... but before she could, the chime rang to her door.
*She's here,* she thought, panicking. She fought the impulse she felt
to go hide under her bed and escape from the hurt. From the hurt she
knew she would be feeling soon. Instead, though, she straightened her
shoulders and walked slowly and deliberately to the door. Tossing her
head and trying to get back her strength, she opened the door. Eve was
standing outside, just as Janice knew she would be.
"Come in," she smiled.
Eve smiled back, noticing how nervous Janice seemed to be.
Which was only to be expected. "Thanks," she replied.
Janice watched as the door closed after Eve had entered. *And so it
begins,* she thought, her stomach fluttering nervously.
Janice almost offered Eve something to drink, when she realized with a
start that she didn't need any sustenance anymore than she did. It was
still startling the difference that she realized... and the similarities
between them. Janice managed a half smile - neither of them had spoken
since Eve had entered. The tense silence was almost overwhelming.
Eve spoke. "Well, this is going well, don't you think?" Her
smile was friendly and warm, though her tone was dry with a
dash of irony.
Janice laughed nervously, managing a small smile. She didn't
have a clue what to do. Her mind was as good as mush.
Eve reached into one pocket and handed her the chip. "Why
don't we sit down?" She asked, moving towards the sofa in
the lounge area. They sat at opposite ends of the sofa, watching
each other. The silence wasn't filled with that awful tension
anymore, but Eve could see that Janice was still fighting against
old habits of silence. She sat, fingering the chip protectively
in her hands, absorbed in the small collection of information and
mechanics.
"Would you like me to start?" She asked.
Janice sighed. "I'm sorry," she replied. "It's just that I'm so
used to keeping all this a secret that..."
Eve reached out and squeezed her hand. "It's all right," She
said with a smile. "I understand. It's hard for you." She
paused. "For me too, Janice. For me too."
TO BE CONTINUED.....
Jason Cleaver
Lieutenant (jg) Eve Mallory
Chief Science Officer: USS Grail
http://www./Area51/Rampart/8529/index.html
/ ICQ No: #4914684
"Great, she's a toaster oven. Can we go now?"
Alien Resurrection